2 1754 Pierre Charles L'Enfant; 1905 Myrna Loy; 1914 Gary Merrill; 1922 Paul Laxalt, Carroll O'Connor; 1924 James Baldwin; 1932 Peter O'Toole; 1942 Garth Hudson, keyboardist; 1944 Joanna Cassidy.
• 1909: First Lincoln head pennies minted.
• 1943: Profiles in Bad Timing: John F. Kennedy's PT-109 is rammed and sunk by Japanese ship.

3 1900 Ernie Pyle, John T. Scopes; 1905 Dolores Del Rio; 1923 Anne Klein; 1924 Leon Uris; 1926 Tony Bennett; 1927 Gordon Scott; 1940 Martin Sheen; 1941 Martha Stewart; 1959 Victoria Jackson.
• 1492: Columbus sets sail from Spain for the "Indies"; after which he plans to head for the "Outies."
• 1963: Allan Sherman releases "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda"; is it any wonder America embraced the Beatles so enthusiastically six months later?

4 1792 Percy Bysshe Shelley; 1901 Louis Armstrong; 1944 Richard Belzer; 1955 Alberto Gonzalez, Billy Bob Thornton; 1962 Roger Clemens.
• 1892: Lizzie Borden arrested in Fall River, Mass.
• 1916: U.S. agrees to buy Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25 million believing there are really virgins there.
• 1981: Colonel Oliver North assigned to White House duty; his requesition for a hot secretary and a paper shredder goes through unquestioned.

5 1911 Robert Taylor; 1930 Neil Armstrong; 1944 Loni Anderson; 1947 Rick Derringer; 1961 Tawny Kitaen; 1962 Patrick Ewing; 1966 Jonathan Silverman.
• 1861: U.S. Army abolishes flogging; soldiers who are "into that" transfer to the Navy.
• 1926: Houdini stays in a coffin under water for an hour; he will break this record later in the year when he is buried underground in a coffin from which has yet to re-emerge.
• 1957: American Bandstand goes on network TV; executives worry Dick Clark looks "kinda old" to host teen show.
• 1967: Bobby Gentry releases her only hit, Ode to Billy Joe.
• 1972: Moody Blues release Nights in White Satin; yeah, you'll have it stuck in your head for the next 20 minutes but at least now the song stuck in your head won't be Ode to Billy Joe.
• 1986: Sending a shockwave of yawns throughout the arts community, it is revealed that Andrew Wyeth secretly made 240 nude drawings & paintings of his neighbor Helga.

6 1911 Lucille Ball; 1917 Robert Mitchum; 1927 Andy Warhol; 1944 Swoosie Kurtz.
• 1926: New Yorker Gertrude Ederle becomes first woman to swim the English Channel.
• 1934: U.S. troops leave Haiti, which had been occupied since 1915.

7 1742 Nathanael Greene; 1876 Mata Hari; 1885 Billie Burke; 1904 Ralph Bunche; 1926 Stan Freberg; 1928 James "The Amazing" Randi; 1929 Don Larsen; 1942 Garrison Keillor, B.J. Thomas.
• 1498: Columbus arrives in Caribbean; islanders ask that next time, instead of Catholicism and syphilis, maybe he could just bring some lasagna or tiramisu or something.
• 1820: First potatoes planted in Hawaii; you want poi with that?
• 1959: Satellite Explorer 6 transmits first TV photo of Earth from space; planet concerned that the camera makes its south pole look fat.

8 1879 Emiliano Zapata; 1896 Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings; 1910 Sylvia Sidney; 1918 Rory Calhoun; 1919 Dino DeLaurentis; 1922 Rudi Gernreich; 1923 Esther Williams; 1932 Mel Tillis; 1937 Dustin Hoffman; 1938 Connie Stevens; 1949 Keith Carradine; 1952 Robin Quivers; 1958 Deborah Norville.
• 1860: Queen of Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) visits NYC; is welcomed like a hero.
• 1973: Vice President Spiro Agnew denies reports that he took kickbacks while governor of Maryland and vows not to resign; and he doesn't until October.
• 1974: Richard Nixon announces he'll resign from the presidency at noon on August 9th.

9 1927 Robert Shaw; 1928 Bob Cousey; 1938 Rod Laver; 1939 Claude Osteen; 1942 David Steinberg; 1944 Sam Elliot.
• 1854: Henry David Thoreau publishes Walden; its popularity leads to the find-the-transcendentalist picture book series Where’s Walden?
• 1930: Betty Boop debuts in Max Fleischer's cartoon Dizzy Dishes.
• 1974: Richard Nixon resigns the presidency; the nation is stunned that he was actually telling the truth for once.
• 1638: Jonas Bronck becomes first European settler in the Bronx; greets all passersby with, "Whaddayou lookin' at, huh?! Huh?!!!"
• 1803: First horses arrive in Hawaii; they look perfectly ridiculous in leis.

10 1874 Herbert Hoover; 1900 Norma Shearer; 1913 Noah Beery Jr.; 1928 Eddie Fisher; 1942 Betsy Johnson; 1943 Ronnie Spector; 1947 Ian Anderson.
• 1833: Chicago is incorporates as a village of about 200; its first mayor is elected with a 1700 vote majority.
• 1846: Congress charters the "Nation's Attic," the Smithsonian Institution; Las Vegas designated "Nation's Basement Rec-Room" in 1958.

11 1921 Alex Haley; 1924 Arlene Dahl; 1925 Mike Douglas; 1926 Claus Von Bulow; 1933 Jerry Falwell; 1950 Steve Wozniak; 1953 Hulk Hogan; 1955 Joe Jackson.
• 1962: Beach Boys release Surfin' Safari.
• 1963: The Kingston Trio guest on What's My Line?
• 1964: Beatles' A Hard Day's Night opens in NYC.
• 1965: Beatles movie Help! opens in NYC.
• 1972: "Cheech & Chong Day" in San Antonio, Texas; what were they smoking when they came up with that idea?

12 1881 Cecil B deMille; 1911 Cantinflas; 1912 Jane Wyatt; 1925 Norris McWhirter, Ross McWhirter; 1927 Ralph Waite; 1929 Buck Owens; 1931 William Goldman; 1932 Porter Wagoner; 1939 George Hamilton; 1949 Mark Knopfler.
• 1935: Babe Ruth's final game at Fenway Park; the crowd of 41,766 lifts their hot dogs in unison in honor of the Bambino's last at-bat.
• 1940: With the words, "Sure, anything you say, just put down the guns," French Marshal Henri Petain gives full support to Nazi Germany.
• 1953: Soviet Union secretly tests hydrogen bomb; explains blast as "Over exuberance at Peoples' Firework Collective."

13 1860 Annie Oakley; 1899 Alfred Hitchcock; 1902 Regis Toomey; 1904 "Buddy" Rogers; 1912 Ben Hogan; 1927 Fidel Castro; 1930 Don Ho; 1951 Dan Fogelberg; 1959 Danny Bonaduce.
• 1521: Conquistadors capture Mexico City from Aztecs; Montezuma's followers vow... well, you know.
• 1919: Man o'War's only defeat.

14 1774 Meriwether Lewis; 1925 Russell Baker; 1941 David Crosby; 1946 Susan St. James.
• 1846: Henry David Thoreau jailed for tax resistance; fires accountant as soon as he makes bail.
• 1991: Comedian Jackie Mason, 60, marries his manager Jyll Rosenfeld, 37.

15 1769 Napoleon Bonaparte; 1771 Sir Walter Scott; 1879 Ethel Barrymore; 1888 T.E. Lawrence; 1912 Julia Child; 1923 Rose Marie; 1924 Phyllis Schlafly; 1944 Linda Ellerbee; 1946 Jimmy Webb.
• 1914: Panama Canal opens.
• 1939: Wizard of Oz premieres in Hollywood.
• 1969: Three Days of Mud & Music — Woodstock Music & Art Fair opens in Bethel, New York.

16 1925 Fess Parker; 1928 Ann Blyth; 1930 Robert Culp, Frank Gifford; 1932 Eydie Gorme; 1935 Julie Newmar; 1945 Robert Balaban; 1953 Kathie Lee Gifford; 1960 Timothy Hutton.
• 1954: Sports Illustrated publishes first issue.
• 1969: Day 2 of Woodstock.
• 1985: Madonna marries Sean Penn; everything else that happened that week is lost to history.

17 1786 Davy Crockett; 1887 Marcus Garvey; 1888 Monty Woolley; 1892 Mae West; 1921 Maureen O'Hara; 1923 Larry Rivers; 1929 Francis Gary Powers; 1943 Robert De Niro; 1958 Belinda Carlisle; 1960 Sean Penn.
• 1960: Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy trial opens in Moscow; worst birthday ever!
• 1962: Beatles replace drummr Pete Best with Ringo Starr; Ringo does not say "Today-ay-ay, I consider myself-elf-elf, the luckiest man-an-an-an on the face-ace-ace-ace of the earth-rth-rth-rth..." but he really should have.
• 1969: Final day of Woodstock Festival; "Dude, Where's My Car Keys?"

18 1834 Marshall Field; 1904 Max Factor Jr.; 1917 Casper Weinberger; 1922 Shelley Winters; 1927 Rosalynn Carter; 1933 Roman Polanski; 1937 Robert Redford; 1943 Martin Mull; 1952 Patrick Swayze.
• 1835: Last Pottawatomie Indians leave Chicago; they blame high rents and traffic.
• 1958: Fidel Castro makes a speech on Cuban pirate radio; it goes on for so long he also takes requests and does the drive-time weather and traffic.
• 1958: Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov, published.
• 1972: Swedish police fine Paul & Linda McCartney $800 for marijuana possession and $150,000 for the song Give Ireland Back to the Irish.
• 1988: Republican Convention in New Orleans selects Bush-Quayle ticket; delegates later blame the combined effects of humidity and cheap beer.

19 1871 Orville Wright; 1902 Ogden Nash; 1906 Philo Farnsworth; 1915 Ring Lardner; 1919 Malcolm Forbes; 1921 Gene Roddenberry; 1938 Diana Muldaur; 1939 Ginger Baker; 1942 Fred Thompson; 1946 Bill Clinton; 1952 Jonathan Frakes; 1956 Adam Arkin; 1969 Christian Slater; 1970 Matthew Perry.
• 1991: Coup in Russia deposes Mikhail Gorbachev.

20 1778 Bernardo O'Higgins; 1785 Oliver Hazard Perry; 1833 Benjamin Harrison; 1873 Eliel Saarinen; 1907 Shirley Booth; 1942 Isaac Hayes; 1946 Connie Chung; 1948 Robert Plant.
• 1896: Dial telephone patented.
• 1978: Mark Vinchesi of Amherst, MA keeps a frisbee aloft for 15.2 seconds, then is never heard from again.
• 1989 Lyle and Erik Menendez shoot their parents; Charlton Heston starts watching own kids more carefully.

21 1872 Aubrey Beardsley; 1906 Friz Freleng; 1936 Wilt Chamberlain; 1938 Kenny Rogers; 1939 Clarence Williams III; 1944 Jackie DeShannon; 1951 Harry Smith; 1953 Joe Strummer; 1956 Kim Cattrall; 1962 Matthew Broderick.
• 1858: First Lincoln-Douglas debate; perhaps the high point of American political discourse.
• 1968: Democratic Convention opens in Chicago; perhaps the low point in American political discourse, at least until this date in 2012.

22 1893 Dorothy Parker; 1917 John Lee Hooker; 1934 Norman Schwartzkopf; 1940 Valerie Harper; 1947 Cindy Williams; 1949 Diana Nyad.
• 1775: King George III proclaims American colonies to be revolting; courtiers quip, "You can say that again!"
• 1846: U.S. "annexes" New Mexico.
• 1910: Japan "annexes" Korea.
• 1911: Mona Lisa stolen from Louvre.

23 1754 Louis XVI; 1912 Gene Kelly; 1913 Bob Crosby; 1932 Mark Russell; 1933 Pete Wilson; 1934 Barbara Eden; 1947 Keith Moon; 1949 Shelley Long, Rick Springfield.
• 1919: Cartoon strip Gasoline Alley debuts in Chicago Tribune.
• 1960: World's largest frog (3.3 kg) caught in Equatorial Guinea; kid who found it breaks "World's Largest Wart" record a few days later.

24 1872 Sir Max Beerbohm; 1899 Jorge Luis Borges; 1938 Mason Williams; 1958 Steve Guttenberg; 1961 Cal Ripken Jr.; 1965 Marlee Matlin.
• 1617: The first one-way streets established in London; traffic violation revenues skyrocket.
• 1869: Waffle iron invented; wrinkle-free waffles now available to everyone.
• 1968: Ringo Starr temporarily quits the Beatles; ever the optimist, Pete Best dusts off his old drumsticks.
• 1987: Announcement of possible Martian tornadoes; Martians are advised to take cover in their basements until further notice.

25 1530 Ivan the Terrible; 1819 Allan Pinkerton; 1905 Clara Bow; 1909 Michael Rennie; 1909 Ruby Keeler; 1913 Walt Kelly; 1916 Van Johnson; 1917 Don Defore, Mel Ferrer; 1918 Leonard Bernstein; 1919 George Wallace; 1923 Monty Hall; 1930 Sean Connery; 1931 Regis Philbin; 1933 Tom Skerritt; 1949 Martin Amis, Gene Simmons; 1954 Elvis Costello; 1970 Claudia Schiffer.
•1718: French colonists arrive in Louisiana and acquire the site for New Orleans in a trade involving beads and comely indian maidens lifting their shirts.
• 1814: British capture Washington, DC; not such a big deal, really, it being midsummer in former swampland, no one in their right mind was still in town to defend it.
• 1944: Paris liberated from Nazis; grateful Parisians immediately begin sneering at and overcharging American soldiers.

26 1740 Joseph Montgolfier; 1884 Earl Biggers; 1904 Christopher Isherwood; 1921 Benjamin C Bradlee; 1935 Geraldine Ferraro; 1981 Macauley Culkin.
• 55 BC: Roman forces lead by Julius Caesar invade Britain; after sampling local food, they declare themselves an army of liberation.
• 1952: Fluoridation of San Francisco's municipal water supply begins; this may or may not explain everything.

27 1871 Theodore Dreiser; 1882 Samuel Goldwyn; 1899 C.S. Forester; 1908 Lyndon B. Johnson, Martha Raye; 1910 Mother Teresa; 1929 Ira Levin; 1941 Bernard Ebbers; 1943 Tuesday Weld; 1949 Barbara Bach; 1952 Paul Reubens.
• 1667 Hurricane hits Jamestown, Virginia, earliest recorded such event in America; colonists spend rest of summer asking each other "Can you f***ing believe that!"
• 1912: Edgar Rice Burroughs' publishes Tarzan.
• 1928: Kellogg-Briand Pact, wherein 60 nations agree to outlaw war; attending diplomats all sign the agreement, too embarrassed to admit they thought they were there to taste-test a new breakfast cereal.

28 1903 Bruno Bettelheim; 1908 Roger Tory Peterson; 1930 Ben Gazzara; 1943 Lou Piniella; 1957 Daniel Stern; 1969 Jason Priestley.
• 1884: First known photograph of a tornado is made near Howard, South Dakota; it's not printed until March 1885 when the camera is found in Lincoln, Nebraska.
• 1938: Northwestern University awards honorary degree to Edgar Bergen's ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy; Yale does something similar with George W. Bush in 1968.
• 1963: Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream speech" at Lincoln Memorial.
• 1968: Police & demonstrators clash at Chicago's Democratic National Convention.

29 1809 Oliver Wendell Holmes; 1897 Charles Boyer; 1912 Barry Sullivan; 1915 Ingrid Bergman; 1916 George Montgomery; 1920 Charlie Parker; 1923 Sir Richard Attenborough; 1924 Dinah Washington; 1925 Donald O'Connor; 1936 John McCain; 1938 Elliott Gould, Peter Jennings; 1939 William Friedkin; 1941 Robin Leach.
• 1896: Chop Suey invented in NYC by chef of visiting Chinese Ambassador; an hour later he has to invent Peking Duck.
• 1964: Walt Disney's Mary Poppins released.
• 1966: Beatles last public concert, (Candlestick Park, SF).

30 1797 Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley; 1893 Huey Long; 1896 Raymond Massey; 1907 Fred MacMurray; 1909 Joan Blondell; 1918 Ted Williams; 1927 Geoffrey Beene; 1930 Warren Buffett; 1935 John Phillips; 1943 R. Crumb, Jean Claude Killy; 1947 Peggy Lipton.
• 1979: President Carter "attacked" by a rabbit on a canoe trip in Plains, Georgia.
• 1990: Ken Griffey & Ken Griffey Jr. become first father & son to play on the same team (Seattle Mariners), both single in the first inning.

31 12 Caligula; 1870 Maria Montessori; 1897 Frederic March; 1905 Dore Schary; 1908 William Saroyan; 1916 Daniel Schorr; 1918 Alan Jay Lerner; 1919 Richard Basehart; 1924 Buddy Hackett; 1928 James Coburn; 1931 Dan Rather; 1945 Van Morrison, Itzhak Perlman; 1949 Richard Gere.
• 1842: Congress authorizes U.S. Naval Observatory; "Somebody's gotta keep an eye on those sailors!" agree representatives from coastal states.
• 1954: Census Bureau established, replacing the old "show of hands" method for counting people.
• 1988: Five-day power blackout of downtown Seattle begins; when it's over, grunge rock and the internet exist.