THEATRE

Saved — Irredeemable.
Top Girls — Churchill downs.
Glory Days — Make that day. (Closed after 1 perf.)
Boeing Boeing — Stewpid.
Thurgood — The bad and the ugly.
Cry-Baby — Bawl boy.
A Catered Affair — All-you-can-stomach.
Macbeth — Bard stiff.
South Pacific — Bali low.
Gypsy — Rose leech.
Adding Machine — Does not compute.
Jackie Mason: The Ultimate Jew — The Katz meow.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof — Limp Brick.
Passing Strange — And it stings down there, too.
Sunday in the Park with George — Que Seurat, Seurat.
Crimes of the Heart — Ms.demeanors.
Jerry Springer: The Opera — Scuzzy fan tutte.
Come Back, Little Sheba — This dog returns.
November — Political dis coarse.
Alfred Hitchcock's The 39 Steps — Whodumbedit?
The Seafarer — Not worth its salt.
The Little Mermaid — Flounders.
The Homecoming – Pinter tale on the wonky.
The Farnsworth Invention – TV guyed.
The Fantasticks – Fantastinks.
Is He Dead? – A Twain wreck.
Young Frankenstein – Monster mush.
Rock 'N' Roll – Czech bouncers.
A Bronx Tale – A wopper.
Pygmalion – 'Ideous.
The Ritz – Full of schvitz.
Grease – Slick and tired.
Xanadu – Discoblecch.
Legally Blonde – And deaf and dumb.
Old Acquaintance – Be forgot.
The Pirate Queen – Booty and the beach.
110 in the Shade – Sere sucker.
Inherit the Wind – It's a trial even for the monkeys.
A Moon for the Misbegotten – Smashed hit.
Deuce – Double fault.
Frost Nixon – Dick David.
The Year of Magical Thinking – Good grief.
Blackbird – Preaching to the perverted.
Lovemusik – Kurt vile.
Curtains – My favorite part of the show.
Our Leading Lady – Lays a Lincoln log.
Talk Radio – Schlock jock.
Prelude to a Kiss – Flawplay.
The Apple Tree – Rotten to the chorus.
Journey's End – Trench tickler.
Follies – Self-explanatory.
High Fidelity – Bye, Fidelity. (closed)
Company – Marital blitz.
The Vertical Hour – You'll be horizontal by hour two.
Mary Poppins – Supercalifragilisticespeciallyatrocious.
The Little Dog Laughed – So bring your peke, she might get it.
Les Misérables – More miserable.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas! – Seuss and desist.
Grey Gardens – Crank case.
The Times They Are A-Changin' – Bomb Dylan.
Butley – Mine was sore.
A Chorus Line – One! Out of ten.
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie – Grating students.
Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me – Short end of the shtick.
Mother Courage – Brecht down.
Faith Healer – Out of touch.
The Lieutenant of Inishmore – Rot IRA.
Tarzan – Lord of the Jingle.

TONY BLARE 2008
In the Heights – Lemon merengue.
August: Osage County – Okie dookie.
TONY DEAF 2007
Spring Awakening – Fall Asleeping.
The Coast of Utopia – Like a sentence to Siberia.
TONY BALONEY 2006
Jersey Boys – For Valli girls.
The History Boys – Fizz Ed.