Sanctuary City Story
Joe Rogaine
Harvard Beats
The Switches
CPAC Frozen Dinner
Curb Your Immunity
Tuck's Wipes
The Sure Loser
Free Zippy
Coloring Book
Whistle Blower
Cold Hard Facts
Shock the Vote
Man of 10,000 Voices
Cirque du Jerque
Let Healing Begin
Chick-Fel-8
Previous Bad Adss

Sanctuary City Story


Drawing by Tom Hachtman

Feel yourself transported (as if to El Salvador) as the beloved yet brutal mass deportations ripped from today's headlines finally reach the big screen in the musical adaptation of Sanctuary City Story.

You'll laugh and cry, but mostly cry, as the illegal Sharks sing America:
I like to leave from America,
Nothing for me in America,
I won't be free in America.

You'll feel the beating heart beneath the flak jacket as the masked ICE agent sings Maria:
Maria!
I just cuffed a girl named Maria,
And suddenly that name
Is permanently lame
To me.

You'll feel deep relief when the mean hombres are carted off to parts unknown as they sing the haunting Nowhere:
There's no place for us,
Nowhere a place for us.
Guards and bars and shaved hair
Wait for us, down there.

A spoof advertisement for Harvard University including the school's logo with the words GO HAMAS substituting VERITAS.