CINEMA

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Wonder Park –– Ride derails.
Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase –– Drew: the short straw.
Captive State –– Chi blatter.
The Highwaymen –– Hit the road.
The Aftermath –– Hamburger helpless.
Ash Is Purest White –– Ash holes.
Starfish –– Nein to five.
The Mustang –– Yay or neigh?
Mission of Honor –– Stop-flight.
The Hummingbird Project –– Flit bit.
The Sex Trip –– As annoying as they come.
Iceman –– Dumbeth.
Chimera Strain –– Strain wreck.
Finding Steve McQueen –– On the skids.
Faith, Hope & Love –– Ain’t enough.


Captain Marvel –– Kreetins.
Triple Frontier –– Tri harder.
Gloria Bell –– Meh Bell.
The Kid –– Billy clubbed.
An Elephant Sitting –– On your face.
Black Mother
–– Jamaica out.
Babylon –– Babble on.
3 Faces –– Of evil.
I’m Not Here –– Me either.
Five Feet Apart –– Public display of infection.
Ferrante Fever –– Down memory Elena.
Greta –– Garble.
Climax –– Stupid as they come.
The Hole in the Ground –– Gap year.
Chaos Walking –– And talking.
Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral –– Bier blast.
Transit –– Sick.
Mapplethorpe –– Crotch shot.
Giant Little Ones –– Dumbo shrimp.
Woman at War –– Struggle bunny.
Level 16 –– Of 100.
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind –– Shoots the breeze.
We Die Young –– Van Damme shame.
Saint Judy –– Dead Wood.
Virginia Minnesota –– Virginia hams.
Pretty Broken –– Totally broken.
The Sower –– Sower grates.
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World –– Dragon drop.
The Changeover –– Asleep at the switch.
The Iron Orchard –– Pump soap.
Run the Race –– Back assward.
Total Dhamaal –– Dhamaal and dumber.
1st Summoning –– Last call.
2050 –– Robocrock.
Chesley Bonestell: A Brush With the Future –– Welcome mattes.
Alone/Together –– A separate piece.
My Stretch of Texas Ground –– Tex arcana.
Alita: Battle Angel –– Delete ‘er.
Isn’t It Romantic –– Plumper cracks.
Fighting With My Family –– Wrestle moanier.
Birds of Passage –– Feather dust-up.
Happy Death Day 2U –– Repetitive death syndrome.
Mega Time Squad –– Second hand smoked.
Patrick –– Pug ugly.
Hotel by the River –– Bank book.
Ruben Brandt, Collector –– Brandt echhs.
Sorry Angel –– Sorry everything.
Donnybrook –– Fight cluck.
A Tuba to Cuba –– Brass off.
The Maestro –– Composed heap.
The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part –– Brick by prick.
What Men Want –– Not this.
The Prodigy –– Prodigious waste.
Cold Pursuit –– Chill lax.
Everybody Knows –– This sucks.
Lords of Chaos –– Anti mayhem.
To Dust –– Thou shalt not return.
The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot –– He slops fables.
Untogether –– Separate butt equal.
Berlin, I Love You –– Ick liebe dick.
The Gospel of Eureka –– Queer, no angels.
The Amityville Murders –– A murder of gross.
The Isle –– Ait is enough.
Miss Bala –– The whole Bala whacks.
Arctic –– Frost bites.
The Gandhi Murder –– Gandhi-coated.
Velvet Buzzsaw –– Rotomanure.
Piercing –– Whore frost.
The Wild Pear Tree –– Grow a pear.
Then Came You –– Upon the sheets.
Braid –– Twisted.
Sharkwater Extinction –– Murky fin.
Daughter of Mine –– No, Daughter of Mine!
The Golem –– The glum.
A Breath Away –– Expires.
The Unicorn –– Horn dog.
St. Bernard Syndicate –– Hound's toot.

TOP

SETTLE OSCAR 2019

Best Picture Nominees:

Black Panther –– Wakanda minimum.
BlacKkKlansman –– Hoodwanked.
Bohemain Rhapsody –– Mercury retrograde.
Green Book –– Tour loose.
The Favourite –– Flushing Queen's.
Roma –– Domestic disturbance.
A Star is Born –– Rotten in the stars.
Vice –– Cheney of fools.


Serenity –– No!
King of Thieves –– Old-ups.
The Kid Who Would Be King –– Junior bomb.
The Invisibles –– Reseen to believe.
The Image Book –– Yawn-look Godard.
The Final Wish –– These people never work again.
BTS World Tour Love Yourself in Seoul –– Or whack off in theatre.
In Like Flynn –– Comedy of Errol’s.
Heartlock –– Cell short.
King of Beasts –– Bottom lion.
To Err is Human –– Malpractice makes perfect.
Dead Ant –– Antyclimactic.
Jihadists –– Phully phanatic. Glass –– Half empty.
The Heiresses –– Inherit the windy.
Dragon Ball Super: Broly –– Broly-proly.
Adult Life Skills –– Growners.
Don’t Come Back from the Moon –– The cratered affair.
The Last Man –– Survival of the skittish.
The Standoff at Sparrow Creek –– Creeky.
Unbridled –– Equine and crackers.
The Brawler –– Swing for defenses.
Split Lip –– Best of a bad punch.
What Is Democracy –– Foul poll.
Who Will Write Our History –– Annal fissure.
I Hate Kids –– And this movie.
An Acceptable Loss –– Pol dark.
Egg –– Ovabearing.
The Upside –– Down.
Replicas –– Double and nothing
A Dog’s Way Home –– Mutt flaps.
Touch Me Not –– Hands-off.
Ashes in the Snow –– Flake eerie.
Buffalo Boys –– Java jive.
The Aspern Papers –– You’ll need an aspirin.
Pledge –– Fratty acid.
Perfectos Desconocidos –– Unknown quantity.
Sgt. Will Gardner –– Vet between the ears.
Against the Clock –– Time bomb.
The Bouncer –– Let’s bounce.
Anthem of a Teenage Prophet –– Nut for Prophet.
Norm of the North: Keys to the Kingdom –– Normsnore.
The Untold Story –– Untold hardship.
Genesis 2.0 –– Wobbly mammoth.
Escape Room –– And theatre.
Eli –– Rot.
The Vanishing –– Poof! daddy.
State Like Sleep –– Winky-dink.
Rust Creek –– Iron deficiency.
American Hangman –– Noosefest.
Mojin: The Worm Valley –– Has no legs.

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E. Basil St. Blaise