CINEMA

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Journey 2: The Mysterious Island –– Hey, Verne, it's earnest!
The Vow –– Swear off.
Safe House –– Refugeniks.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace in 3D –– Jar Jar boinks.
In Darkness –– Murky murk.
The Turin Horse –– Nietzsche marketing.
Return –– To sender.
Private Romeo –– Smarmy rank.
Kung Fu Joe –– Chock sloppy.
The Dish & The Spoon –– Fork get it.

The Woman in Black –– Ghost nowhere.
Big Miracle –– Blubbery.
Chronicle –– Super Fluous.
The Inn Keepers –– Bed and bored.
Kill List –– Listless.
Windfall –– Gust-busting.
Splinters –– The sliver surfer.
Bad Fever –– Low-grade.
One for the Money –– Two for the shrew.
The Grey –– Poop on.
Man on a Ledge –– Silly.
The Wicker Tree –– Wickerleaks.
The Theatre Bizarre –– Kooky cutter.
Declaration of War –– Numb de guerre.
An Inconsistent Truth –– More hot air.
Five Time Champion –– In pocket pinball.
After Fall, Winter –– After film, vomit.
How Much Does Your Building Weigh, Mr. Foster? –– Like, a ton of bricks?

Underworld Awakening –– For fangboys only.
Haywire –– Oh MMA God!
Red Tails –– Tails from the cribbed.
Miss Bala –– Bala hooey.
The Red Machine –– Nippon ring.
Ultrasuede: In Search of Halston –– Fabriculous!
Carol Channing: Larger Than Life –– Channing tedium.
The Viral Factor –– Sickening.
Watching TV with the Red Chinese –– On Commiecast.
Scalene –– The heights of absurdity.
Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos –– Whoremanga.
Crazy Horse –– Cul de sex.

TOP

OSCAR 2012

Best Picture Nominees:

The Artist –– Formerly known as Mince.
The Descendants –– Hawaiian paunch.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close — & Amazingly Twee.
The Help — Less.
Hugo –– Because I won't.
Midnight in Paris — Clichés longue.
Moneyball — Beane balls.
The Tree of Life –– Branch rickety.
War Horse –– Saddle snores.

Beauty and the Beast 3D –– Belle of the balls.
Contraband –– Bootleg licker.
Joyful Noise –– Of a whoopie cushion.
The Divide –– Split peace.
Sing Your Song –– Day-o the dead.
Man on a Mission –– Waste of space.
Don't Go in th Woods –– Use the port-a-potty.
Lula: Son of Brazil –– Hi-yo da Silva!
Albatross –– It just hangs there.

The Iron Lady –– Number 10 Downing Streep.
The Devil Inside –– The Exhausist.
Norwegian Wood –– Not.
Beneath the Darkness –– Is an ocean of dimness.
Once Upon a Time in Anatolia –– Snuffed Turkey.
Pom Poko –– Plumb loko.
Roadie –– Oh!
John Mellencamp: It's About You ––Jack and dyin'.
Chico & Rita –– Chico and the mange.
A Separation –– From reality.
Angels Crest –– Fallen.
Pariah –– Caste out.

Cinema
Cinema 2011
CInema 2010
Cinema 2009
Cinema 2008
Cinema 2007
Cinema 2006
Cinema 2005
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E. Basil St. Blaise