MUSIC

Scarlet / Doja Cat –– Litter.
Tension / Kylie Minogue –– Headache.
Rustin' in the Rain / Tyler Childers –– Seizes up.
Guts / Olivia Rodrigo –– Less.
Zach Bryan / Zach Bryan –– Sad Zach.
Barbie / Soundtrack –– Pink ear.
Speak Now (Taylor's Version ) / Taylor Swift –– Taylor's whiffed.
Utopia / Travis Scott –– You dopier.
Austin / Post Malone –– Ugghsy Malone.

Chemistry / Kelly Clarkson ––Shame reaction.
Orpheus Descending / John Mellencamp –– Low below.
Seven Psalms / Paul Simon –– Face-Psalm.
Did You Know That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd. / Lana del Rey –– Death Rey.
One Thing at a Time / Morgan Wallen –– So no chewing gum and walking?
Endless Summer Vacation / Miley Cyrus –– Shrilly bray Cyrus.
SOS / SZA –– SOS-so.
Leave the Light On / Bailey Zimmerman –– Dimmer switch.
Her Loss / Drake & 21 Savage –– And yours.
Gloria / Sam Smith –– Effs the fan.
Get Rollin' / Nickelback –– On floor, laughing.
Midnights / Taylor Swift –– Late unpleasantness.
The Loneliest Time / Carly Rae Jepson –– oyCarly.
God Did / DJ Khaled –– More like Dog Did.
Against the Odds: 1974-1982 / Blondie –– When Harry met salary.
Traumazine / Megan Thee Stallion –– Magazero.
Renaissance / Beyoncé –– Ren fair.
Un Verano Sin Ti / Bad Bunny –– Summer: fling.
Chaos in Bloom / Goo Goo Dolls –– Goo Goo oyes.
Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers / Kendrick Lamar –– Deadly Lamar.
Certified Lover Boy / Drake –– Drake kicking and screaming.
Entering Heaven Alive / Jack White –– Ears White shut.
I Never Liked You / Future –– Ditto.
Return of the Dream Canteen / Red Hot Chili Peppers –– Parched.
Breezy / Chris Brown –– Blows.
Take It Like a Man / Amanda Shires –– Bends over forwards.
Special / Lizzo –– Nothing Special.
Honestly, Nevermind / Drake –– We won't.
Harry's House / Harry Styles –– Ditty Harry.
Twelve Carat Toothache / Post Malone –– Pull out.
Keys / Alicia Keys –– Busted Keys.
Barn / Neil Young and Crazy Horse –– Moo music.
The Algorithm / Snoop Dogg –– Old Dogg, Snoop tricks.
Thank You / Diana Ross –– But no thanks.
30 / Adele –– 30 rock?
The Future / Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats –– The Passé Posse.
Something for the Hotties / Megan Thee Stallion –– Case of the trots.
= / Ed Sheeran –– It's a crying same.
Blue Banisters / Lana Del Rey –– A step down.
My Morning Jacket / My Morning Jacket –– Jack it.
Lindsay Buckingham / Lindsay Buckingham –– Lindsay low hand.
Star-Crossed / Kacey Musgraves –– Tin foiled.
Voyage / ABBA –– To the bottom of the Zs.
Donda / Kanye West –– Mifflin'.
If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power / Halsey –– Falsey.
Solar Power / Lorde –– Run of the mill.
Happier Than Ever / Billie Eilish –– Loses by an Eilish.
Planet Her / Doja Cat –– Doja vu.
Sour /Olivia Rodrigo –– Pucker factor.
Pressure Machine / The Killers –– Mostly gas.
King’s Disease II / Nas –– Heard immunity.
Call Me If You Get Lost / Tyler, The Creator –– Get lost.
Sob Rock / John Mayer –– SOB rock.
Love and Lies / Anthony Ramos –– Ignore Ramos.
Migos / Culture III –– The twee Migos.
Jordi / Maroon 5 –– Don't get Jordi.
No Gods No Masters / Garbage –– No one to blame but themselves.
Path of Wellness / Sleater-Kinney –– Pale ail.
Soberish / Liz Phair –– Dry.
The Off-Season / J. Cole –– Lump of Cole.
Latest Record Project, Vol. 1 / Van Morrison –– Unmarked white Van.
Van Weezer / Weezer –– Rip Van Weezer.
Young Stoner Life: Slime Language 2 / Young Thug & Various Artists –– Slime shady.
Fearless / Taylor Swift –– Brave fart.
Blue Banisters / Lana Del Rey –– Del Rey biatch.
Justice / Justin Bieber –– Justice is deaf.
Heart / Eric Church –– The Church lamely.
Positions / Ariana Grande –– Ariana huffing tone.
SoulFly / Rod Wave –– Wave bye-bye.
The Highlights / The Weeknd –– Like a bad dye job.
The Battle at Garden’s Gate / Greta Van Fleet –– Seedy.
What You See Is What You Get / Luke Combs –– Unfortunately.
El Ultimo Tour del Mundo / Bad Bunny –– Rabbit hole.
My Savior / Carrie Underwood –– Misunderwood.
Medicine at Midnight / Foo Fighters –– Near-deaf experience.
Nobody Is Listening / Zayn Malik –– Including me.
Dangerous: The Double Album / Morgan Wallen –– Perils before swine.
Whole Lotta Red / Playboi Carti –– Playboi playdate.
Wonder / Shawn Mendes –– No Wonder.

Man on the Moon III: The Chosen / Kid Cudi –– Death gab for Cudi.
Cyr / Smashing Pumpkins –– Oy, oy, Cyr.
Be / BTS –– Ess.
Good News / Megan Thee Stallion –– Whinny the poo.
Wilted / Paris Jackson –– Paris wiltin'.
Starting Over / Chris Stapleton –– In reset memory.
Dancing With the Devil …the Art of Starting Over / Demi Lovato –– Demi: toss.
Love Goes / Sam Smith –– Lav songs.
Positions / Ariana Grande –– Slow jam it.
McCartney III / Paul McCartney –– Out of X.

Zoom In / Ringo Starr –– Buffered aspirant.
Evermore / Taylor Swift –– Nevermore.
Plastic Hearts / Miley Cyrus –– Synthcere.
Disco / Kylie Minogue –– Disco dreck.
I Owe It All to You / Shirley Bassy –– IOEww.
Music…the Air That I Breathe / Cliff Richard –– With a ventilator.
Letter to You / Bruce Springsteen –– Bossed wishes.
Hey Clockface / Elvis Costello –– Seconds to none.
Blackpink / The Album –– Korea down.
Power Up / AC/DC –– Cut the cord.
What You Gonna Do When the Grid Goes Down / Public Enemy –– Grid and bear it.
The Waterfall II / My Morning Jacket –– Straits Jacket.
Bigger Love / John Legend –– The Legend of Bigger pants.
Alicia / Alicia Keys –– Keys' tones cops.
Smile / Katy Perry –– Perry wangle.
King's Disease / Nas –– ty.
Punisher / Phoebe Bridgers –– Oww, my ears!
Rough and Rowdy Ways / Bob Dylan –– Honky tonk: Whoa, man!
RTJ4 / Run the Jewels –– Jewels in the clown.
The Dirt and the Stars / Mary Chapin Carpenter –– TMZ set to music?
Born Here Live Here Die Here / Luke Bryan –– But mostly die here.
We are Chaos / Marilyn Manson –– Nobody Chaos.
Kiss Land / The Weeknd –– Lip o’ suction.
Such Pretty Forks in the Road / Alanis Morissette –– Split off.
Chris Tomlin & Friends / Chris Tomlin –– Silly Tomlin.
Tickets To My Downfall / Machine Gun Kelly –– Crash coarse.
The Speed of Now, Pt. 1 / Keith Urban –– Velo chop.
Imploding an Image / The Killers –– Collapse-o music.
Folklore / Taylor Swift –– Tales off.
Gaslighter / The Chicks –– Dixie cuts.
Women In Music Pt. III / Haim –– Laim.
Chromatica / Lady Gaga –– Hue and cry.
Future Nostalgia / Dua Lipa –– Forget it now.
After Hours / The Weeknd –– Weeknd immunity.
Fetch the Bolt Cutters / Fiona Apple –– Raises one's shackles.
Ordinary Man / Ozzy Osbourne –– Ozhat.
Music to Be Murdered By / Eminem –– Take the rap.
Circles / Mac Miller –– Jerks.
Fine Line / Harry Styles –– Doggy Styles.
Jesus is Born / Kanye West –– Yeezus Age Christ.
Hyperspace / Beck –– Beck end deal.
Thanks for the Dance / Leonard Cohen –– Cohen, Cohen, gone.
Colorado / Neil Young –– Rockies mistake.
What’s My Name / Ringo Starr –– Senility sets in.
Anima / Thom Yorke –– Enema.
Ghosteen / Nick Cave –– Cave in.
Hollywood's Bleeding / Post Malone –– Post hates.
Threads / Sheryl Crow –– Threads bare.
Let it Roll / Midlands –– Off turntable.
The Big Day / Chance the Rapper –– Sinks to the occasion.
Norman Fucking Rockwell / Lana Del Rey –– Lana Dull Roar.
Fear Inoculum / Tool –– S’ Tool sample.
Lover / Taylor Swift –– S'whiffed.
The Center Won’t Hold / Sleater-Kinney –– Sleater, dude.
The Big Day / Chance the Rapper –– Rap shee-it.
The Lion King: The Gift / Beyoncé –– Nala and void.
IGOR / Tyler, the Creator –– IGOR beaver.
Western Stars / Bruce Springsteen –– Hoarse opera.
Madame X / Madonna –– As in X-cruciating.
Save Me / Future –– Spare me.
Originals / Prince –– Paisley pork.
Father of Asahd / DJ Khaled –– Asahd state of affairs.
Dedicated / Carly Rae Jepsen –– Carly slimin’.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind / Logic –– Logic bored.
The Junction / Manhattan Transfer –– Vocalleast.
Father of the Bride / Vampire Weekend –– Proud plopper.
Cuz I Love You / Lizzo –– Drain your Lizzo.
Homecoming / Beyoncé –– Follow the Beyoncé ball.
In the End / The Cranberries –– Cranberries jam.
Social Cues / Cage the Elephant –– Pees and Cues.
Map of the Soul: Persona / BTS –– BTS: D.
Free Spirit / Khalid –– Khalid’s nowhere.
Honky Tonk Time Machine / George Strait –– Strait and narrow.
Blackpink in Your Area / Blackpink –– K-Flop.
When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? / Billie Eilish –– Bats Eilish.
DNA / Backstreet Boys –– Pop smear.
Thank U, Next / Ariana Grande –– Queue shtick.
Head Above Water / Avril Lavigne –– Float alone.
The Black Album / Weezer –– Wheezer.
When I Get Home / Solange –– Follow the Beyoncé ball.
Dusty Notes / Meat Puppets –– Bites the Dusty.
Lux Prima / Karen O & Danger Mouse –– Outta Lux.
No Geography / The Chemical Brothers –– Totally lost.
She Remember Everything / Rosanne Cash –– Cash poor.
Heard It in a Past Life / Maggie Rogers –– Déjà poo.
Ain’t Nothin’ to It / Cody Johnson –– Really, nothin’.
The Wizard / Future –– The Wizard of Shid.
Evil Genius / Gucci Main –– Gucci Gucci goo.
Championships / Meek Mill –– Run of the Mill.
Other People’s Stuff / John Mellencamp –– Stuff it.
Street Gossip / Lil Baby –– 40 acres and a mewl.
Wanderer / Cat Power –– Meow mix.
Caution / Mariah Carey ––Throw Caution to the bins.
Swag/Vamos / Brohug –– Brobeaten.
A Love Letter to You 3 / Trippie Redd –– Trippie dippy.
Sweetener / Ariana Grande –– Bitter honey.
A Star Is Born (Soundtrack) / Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper –– For the love of mic.
Bohemian Rhapsody (Soundtrack) / Queen –– Freddy murkily.
The Beatles (White Album) / The Beatles –– Blows White open.
Look Up Child / Lauren Daigle –– Daigle and lox.
In the Blue Light by Paul Simon –– Simon-pure.
Origins / Imagine Dragons –– False starts.
Simulation Theory / Muse –– Museilage.
The Prophet Speaks / Van Morrison –– Prophet marginal.
Nuthin’ 2 Prove / Lil Yachty –– Proves it
Tha Carter V / Lil Wayne –- Pentagrim.
Dancing Queen / Cher –– Fair Cher.
Look Now / Elvis Costello –– Don't Look Now.
YSIV / Logic –– Logic bored.
Luca Brasi 3 / Kevin Gates –– Gates of hell.
Astroworld / Travis Scott –– Travis pickle.
An American Treasure / Tom Petty –– Petty poop.
Pray for the Wicked / Panic! at the Disco –– Wicked shit.
Walls / Barbra Streisand –– Wails.
Egypt Station / Paul McCartney –– Beatle moanier.
Cry Pretty / Carrie Underwood –– Carrie on.
Kamikaze / Eminem –– Sewer side mission.
Sweetener / Ariana Grande –– Saccharine.
Queen / Nicki Minaj –– Royal scam.
Scorpion / Drake –– Muck Drake.
Everything Is Love / the Carters –– Trash Carters.
Liberation / Christina Aguilera –– Free-squealing.
ye / Kanye West –– Kan ye.
Shawn Mendes / Shawn Mendes –– Shawn of the dead.
44/876 / Sting & Shaggy –– Stink & shabby.
Rearview Town / Jason Aldean –– Ass burgher’s syndrome.
No Shame / Lily Allen –– Obviously.
God’s Favorite Customer / Father John Misty –– Don’t play Misty for me.
Prequelle / Ghost –– Nyquil.
Harder Than Ever / Lil Baby –– To listen to.
Testing / A$AP Rocky –– My patience.
Hell-On / Neko Case –– Case dismissed.
beerbongs & bentleys / Post Malone –– Malonecholy.
Lost & Found / Jorja Smith –– But mostly lost.
Invasion of Privacy / Cardi B –– Cardi yak arrest.
American Utopia / David Byrne –– Byrne notice.
Man of the Woods / Justin Timberlake –– Timber-like.
M A N I A / Fall Out Boy –– From dupe to nuts.Camila / Camila Cabello –– Cuban fizzle crisis.
Stoney / Post Malone –– Buggy Malone.
The Greatest Showman: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack / Various –– PT SD.
Reputation / Taylor Swift –– Odd Rep.
The Thrill of It All / Sam Smith –– Thrill sicker.
Dirty Computer / Janelle Monae –– Phonae Monae.
Red Pill Blues / Maroon 5 –– Popping off.
Unapologetically / Kelsea Ballerini –– Sorry wrong numbers.
Sweet Southern Sugar / Kid Rock –– Sweet nothing.
Live in No Shoes Nation / Kenny Chesney –– Toe jams.
Now / Shania Twain –– Mock Twain.
Heaven Upside Down / Marilyn Manson –– Marilyn McCuckoo.
Perception / NF –– NafF.
Masseduction / St.Vincent –– Oh, come-on!
Carry Fire / Robert Plant –– Plant closure.
Texoma Shore / Blake Shelton –– Tex coma.
Wonderful Wonderful / the Killers –– Killer on the ludes.
Life Changes / Thomas Rhett –– Rhett bungler.
Luv is Rage 2 / Lil Uzi Vert –– Per Vert.
Meaning of Life / Kelly Clarkson –– Kelly’s zeroes.
Concrete and Gold / Foo Fighters –– Fooey.
Beautiful Trauma / Pink –– Pink lazy.
Tell Me You Love Me / Demi Lovato –– I cannot tell a lie.
American Dream / LCD Soundsystem –– Oneiric idle.
Sleep Well Beast / The National –– The National debit.
Kane Brown / Kane Brown –– No, he Kane’t.
Cozy Tapes, Vol. 2: Top Cozy / A$AP Mob –– Cozy fan ptui.
Happy Endings / Old Dominion –– Rubs the wrong way.
Fifth Harmony / Fifth Harmony –– A Fifth of crotch.
Villains / Queens of the Stone Age –– Bad guise.
Luv Is Rage 2 / Lil Uzi Vert –– Per Vert.
Life Changes / Thomas Rhett –– Bhett bungler.
Hitchhiker / Neil Young –– Thumb a nose.
Rainbow / Kesha –– Blunder the Rainbow.
Nervous System / Julia Michaels –– Forlorn Michaels.
Native Invader / Tory Amos –– Tory and wigged.
Issa Album / 21 Savage –– Issa waste.
Grateful / DJ Khaled –– Dicks jockey.
Evolve / Imagine Dragons –– Grow up!
Purple Rain / Prince and the Revolution –– Spinning in his grave.
MOSAIC / 311 –– Tiny pieces.
4:44 / Jay-Z –– Fours of habit.
Melodrama / Lorde –– Lorde of the mannered.
Pretty Girls Like Trap Music / 2 Chains –– Shut your Trap.
The Nashville Sound / Jason Isbell –– Tennessee tight ones.
Feed the Machine / Nickelback –– Mechanical.
Lust for Life / Lana Del Rey –– Stink Rey.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / The Beatles –– Beatle barely.
Teenage Emotions / Lil Yachty –– Bit ding-y.
Is This the Life We Really Want? / Roger Waters –– Still Waters runs ‘deep’.
hopeless fountain kingdom / Halsey –– Little fuss and big Halsey.
One More Light / Linkin Park –– Linkin incontinental.
Welcome Home / Zac Brown Band –– Hi and dry.
From a Room: Volume 1 / Chris Stapleton –– Chamber music.
Harry Styles / Harry Styles –– Hairy styles.
True to Self / Bryson Tiller –– Honest mistake.
The Search for Everything / John Mayer –– The discovery of nothing.
Love and War / Brad Paisley –– Barf fight.
Memories…Do Not Open / Chainsmokers –– Hacking.
Pure Comedy / Father John Misty –– Don’t play Misty for me.
DAMN. / Lamar Kendrick –– Lamer Kendrick.
Triplicate / Bob Dylan –– Standards and poor.
More Life / Drake –- More or less?
Tremaine the Album / Trey Songz –– Trey lecher.
Beauty and the Beast / Various –– Nookie monster.
8 / Incubus –– 8 isn’t enough.
Mental Illness / Aimee Mann –– Mann overboard.
HNDRXX / Future –– Jammy HNDRXX.
Future / Future –– Later hosin'.
÷ / Ed Sheeran –– Lunk Division.
The Breaker / Little Big Town –– Deal Breaker.
Dirty Projectors / Dirty Projectors –– Stunt casting.
Prisoner / Ryan Adams –– Canned doo attitude.
Live in Paris / Sleater-Kinney –– France list.
La La Land / Various –– For the love of mic.
Spirit / Depeche Mode –– Depeche load.
4 Your Eyez Only / J. Cole –– Lump of Cole.
Blue & Lonesome / The Rolling Stones –– Out of the blues.
"Awaken, My Love!" / Childish Gambino –– Gambino crime family.
The Hamilton Mixtape / Various –– Alexander's ragged time band.
Darkness and Light / John Legend –– Legend of the fall.
Moana / Various –– Tiki-tacky.
Hardwired…to Self-Destruct / Metallica –– Mission accomplished.
24K Magic / Bruno Mars –– The karat and the shtick.
The Weight of These Wings / Miranda Lambert –– Never gets off the ground.
11 Short Stories of Pain & Glory / Dropkick Murphys –– Murphys' slaw.
Starboy / The Weeknd –– Astral pain.
58th and 9th / Sting –– B Sting.
Trap or Die 3 / Jeezy –– Jeezy whiz.
Cosmic Hallelujah / Kenny Chesney –– Kenny todgers.
What's Inside: Songs from Waitress / Sara Bareilles –– Sara bore all us.
DC4 / Meek Mouse –– Meek’s cutoff.
Nobody But Me / Michael Bublé –– Likes this.
A Pentatonix Christmas / Pentatonix –– Choral riff.
We Got It From Here…Thank You 4 Your Service / A Tribe Called Quest –– Quest-ionable.
WALLS / Kings of Leon –– The last WALLS.
1992 / The Game –– Game over.
Mad Love / JoJo –– Obsess poo.
Joanne / Lady Gaga –– Lolly Gaga.
Integrity Blues / Jimmy Eat World –– The moral of the sorry.
Day Breaks / Norah Jones –– Shun rise.
A Seat at the Table / Solange Knowles –– Gassy Knowles.
22, a Million / Bon Iver –– Iver headache.
Illuminate / Shawn Mendes –– In the dark.
The Serenity of Suffering / Korn –– I was calm listening to this.
Chapter and Verse / Bruce Springsteen –– Bruce clues.
Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway / Barbra Streisand –– Out of the mouth of Babs.
Skeleton Tree / Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds –– Cave in.
Glory / Britney Spears –– Spears chuckler.
Dig Your Roots / Florida Georgia Line –– Hoe down.
Blonde / Frank Ocean –– Asspit in the Ocean.
The Definition Of… / Fantasia –– Feelin’ the blank.
American Love / Jake Owen –– Not this one.
Major Key / DJ Khaled –– Khaled greens.
Farm Tour…Here’s to the Farmer / Luke Bryan –– Detractor pull.
Everybody Looking / Gucci Mane –– Nobody listening.
California / Blink-182 –– California reaming.
Tangled Up / Thomas Rhett –– And blew.
Coloring Book / Chance the Rapper –– Flat Chance.
The Getaway / Red Hot Chili Peppers –– Get away!
Last Year Was Complicated / Nick Jonas –– Jonas and the wail.
Hard Love / Needtobreathe –– Save your breath.
Stranger to Stranger / Paul Simon –– Gnarly Simon.
If I’m Honest / Blake Shelton –– Trite and true.
Hero / Maren Morris –– Baloney Hero.
Seal the Deal & Let’s Boogie / Volbeat –– Boogie bored.
SremmLife 2 / Rae Sremmurd –– Sremm sleep.
Black / Dierks Bentley –– Black hole.
Unden!able / HellYeah –– GodNo.
I Still Do / Eric Clapton –– Slow band.
Chaos and the Calm / James Bay –– Bay of picks.
Strange Little Birds / Garbage –– Should've been self-titled.
A Moon Shaped Pool / Radiohead –– Luna tunes.
Ripcord / Keith Urban –– Jump!
You Should Be Here / Cole Swindell –– If you hate music.
Love You to Death / Tegan and Sara –– Twin piques.
Views / Drake –– Drake cakes.
Thank You / Meghan Trainor –– De nada.
Always Strive and Prosper / A$AP Ferg –– What a $ap.
Lemonade / Beyoncé –– Motherpucker.
Cleopatra / The Lumineers –– Cleo lame.
Gore / Deftones –– Bloody awful.
The Life of Pablo / Kanye West –– Pablo pick asshole.
Mind of Mine / Zayn –– Zayny.
At Night, Alone. / Mike Posner –– Can hear why.
Divers / Joanna Newsom –– Dumpster Divers.
Immortalized / Disturbed –– Set in stoned.
Untitled Unmastered / Lamar Kendrick –– Unlistenable.
Call It What It Is / Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals –– Harper's bizarre.
ColleGrove / 2 Chainz –– LinkDin.
This Unruly Mess I’ve Made / Macklemore & Ryan Lewis –– Untidy whities.
This Is What the Truth Feels Like / Gwen Stefani –– It hurts…my ears.

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E. Basil St. Blaise

 

The Heart Speaks in Whispers / Corinne Bailey Rae –– Hoarse play.
Dangerous Woman / Ariana Grande –– Grande illusion.
For All Kings / Anthrax –– Bacilli gooses.
The Art of Hustle / Yo Gotti –– Dope rhymes.
You and I / Jeff Buckley –– Timid Buckley.
Dig In Deep / Bonnie Raitt –– Third-Raitt.
Good Grief / Lucius –– Need I say mourn?
Arranging Time / Peter Yorn –– A yorner.
Fired Up / Randy Houser –– Hoser.
Hamilton: An American Musical / Original Cast Recording –– Revolutionary Warbling.

Down to My Last Bad Habit / Vince Gill –– Making records.
EVOL / Future –– EVOL dead.
ANTI / Rihanna –– I am.
Dystopia / Megadeth –– Ewwtopia.
Death of a Bachelor / Panic! at the Disco –– Singlecide band.
Royalty / Chris Brown –– Prince of wails.
Handwritten / Sean Mendez –– Dully noted.
This Is Acting / Sia –– Sia later.
Blackstar / David Bowie –– Star blight.
Wildfire / Rachel Platten –– Platten puss.
A Head Full of Dreams / Coldplay –– Empty Dreams.
Prima Donna / Rufus Wainwright –– Doofus Wainwright.
From the Cradle to the Grave / Squeeze –– Squeeze play.
Untamed / Cam –– Cam shaft.
When It's Dark Out –– G-Eazy –– Ch-eazy.
Buffet / R. Kelley –– Chafing. Ditch.
Wake Up! / Pope Francis –– Vatican ditty.
25 / Adele –– Addled.
Purpose / Justin Bieber –– Too little Purpose.
Made in the A.M. / One Direction –– Morning dump.
Storyteller / Carrie Underwood –– aka Liar.
The Incredible True Story / Logic –– No-account.
Church in These Streets / Jeezy –– Jeezy bites.
Mr. Misunderstood / Eric Church –– So did Ms.
I’m Comin’ Over / Chris Young -– We ain’t home.
Beauty Behind the Madness / The Weekend –– Weekend wearier.
Know-It-All / Alessia Cara –– Smarty pans.
Traveller / Chris Stapleton –– Rambles on.
Delirium / Ellie Goulding –– Goulding goose.
Tangle Up / Thomas Rhett –– In blew.
Confident / Demi Lovato –– Why?
Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats / Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats –– Damp with faint praise.
Revival / Selena Gomez –– Resuckitation.
What Dreams Are Made Of / R.City –– Sleep of faith.
The Documentary 2 / The Game –– Game on…something.
Thirty One / Jana Kramer –– Kramer worse as Kramer.
Cass County / Don Henley –– Who Cass?
Fetty Wap / Fetty Wap –– Fetid wimp.
Cold Beer Conversation / George Strait –– Strait to Hell.
Honeymoon / Lana Del Rey –– Honeymoon in vagueness.
Dodge and Burn / The Dead Weather –– Get out of Dodge.
35 mph Town / Toby Keith –– Low gear.
What A Time To Be Alive / Drake & Future –– Days of aww.
Tangles Up / Thomas Rhett –– Rhett sux.
Brave New World / Amanda Cook –– Dis dopier.
Unbreakable / Janet Jackson –– Jackson hole.
Beauty Behind the Madness / The Weeknd –– The weakstrt.
Badlands / Halsey –– Arid.
Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz / Miley Cyrus –– This killed them.
Crosseyed Heart / Keith Richards –– It’s drunk.
Emotion / Carly Rae Jepson –– Emotion sickness.
Compton / Dr. Dre –– Dre as a bone.
Kill the Lights / Luke Bryan –– And the MP3 player.
This Is Not a Test / TobyMac –– But you still fail.
Woman / Jill Scott –– Dread Scott.
DS2 / Future –– Future schlock.
VII: Sturm und Drang / Lamb of God –– Agonies dei.
Not an Apology / Bea Miller –– OK, but we’re waiting.
Black Rose / Tyrese –– Hoot Gibson.
Angels and Alcohol / Alan Jackson –– Alcohol, then angels.
Wilder Mind / Mumford & Sons –– Milder whined.
Before This World / James Taylor –– Taylor's whiffed.
Coming Home / Leon Bridges –– Cloyed Bridges.
Pageant Material / Kacey Musgraves –– A real 'beaut.'
The Original High / Adam Lambert –– Nail polish. Lots and lots of nail polish.
Duets: Re-Working the Catalogue / Van Morrison –– Vocal derangements.
How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful / Florence + the Machine –– Ebb + Flo.
AT.LONG.LAST.A$AP / A$AP Rocky –– A sap.
Drones / Muse –– Yes, it does.
Blurryface / twenty one pilots –– Unrecognizable.
No Pier Pressure / Brian Wilson –– Quay pasa?
Sol Invictus / Faith No More –– Sol about the bass.
Empires / Hillsong UNITED –– Empires chicken.
Out of the Wasteland / Lifehouse –– Just desert.
Pitch Perfect 2 / Soundtrack –– Sinker Pitch.
Fifty Shades of Grey / Soundtrack –– Kink of pop.
Furious 7 / Soundtrack –– Screeching. Tires.
Stages / Josh Groban –– Music kill theatre.
Jekyll + Hyde / Zac Brown –– Dickishly split.
Special Effects / Tech N9ne –– N9ne wan wan.
Listen / David Guetta –– Guetta life!
Sound & Color / Alabama Shakes –– No great Shakes.
Talking is Hard / Walk the Moon –– Listening is harder.
To Pimp a Butterfly / Kendrick Lamar –– Lamar's rover.
The Waterfall / My Morning Jacket –– Gush darn.
Second Hand Heart / Dwight Yoakam –– Poopy Yoakam.
Rebel Heart / Madonna –– Arrhythmic.
Fan of a Fan: The Album / Chris Brown & Tyga –– Tyga poor.
Piece By Piece / Kelly Clarkson –– Chunky.
First Kiss / Kid Rock –– Boom and bussed.

Dark Sky Paradise / Big Sean –– Sean lemon.
Of Beauty and Rage / Red –– Beat Red.
Just Kids / Mat Kearney –– I hope he’s kidding.
Non-Fiction / Ne-Yo –– The knackered truth.
If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late / Drake –– If you’re listening it's hopeless.
Smoke + Mirrors / Imagine Dragons –– Bland illusion.
American Beauty/American Psycho / Fall Out Boy –– Thin, schizzy.
B4.Da.$$ / Joey Badass –– Badass you expect it to be.
Title / Meghan Trainor –– All about that waste.
Vulnicura / Björk –– Barney rubble.

Sweet Talker / Jessie J –– Sour singer.
Man Against Machine / Garth Brooks –– The multitrack recorder.
SremmLife / Rae Sremmurd –– Sremmix it.
Reclassified / Iggy Azalea –– As ‘noise.’
Globalization / Pitbull –– Muzzle tov.
For You / Selena Gomez –– Thanks, but no thanks.
Montevallo / Sam Hunt –– Hell ’n’ Hunt.
Four / One Direction –– On the floor.
Hozier / Hozier –– Hoser.
The Pinkprint / Nicki Minaj –– She made it sitting on the jewel case.
Black Messiah / D’Angelo –– Irredeemable.
Sucker / Charli XCX –– She’s talkin’ to you.
Lost on the River: The New Basement Tapes / The New Basement Tapes –– Dylan it back.
Nick Jonas / Nick Jonas –– Dour Jonas.
Shmurda She Wrote / Bobby Shmurda –– Shmurda on the ears.
Melody Road / Neil Diamond –– Diamond in the rough.
Storytone / Neil Young –– Mighty D’oh! Young.
It’s the Girls! / Bette Midler –– And they really sag.
Nostalgia / Annie Lennox –– For when I mattered.
Paperwork / T.I. –– Drudgery.
Painkiller / Little Big Town –– Anodyne to hear this?
Under Pressure / Logic –– In the bladder.
Sings the Great Diva Classics / Aretha Franklin –– Bent Franklin.
Hope / Susan Boyle –– She took her meds.
Ride Out / Bob Seger –– Peed Seger.
The Gray Chapter / Slipknot –– Knot half bad.
Sonic Highways / Foo Fighters –– Foo’s ball.
1989 / Taylor Swift –– Natal-gazing.
Old Boots, New Dirt / Jason Aldean –– Soiled rotten.
Anything Goes / Florida Georgia Line –– Even this crap?
Plectrumelectrum / Prince & 3RDEYEGIRL –– Inspectumarectum.
Art Official Age / Prince –– Too old for this.
Cheek to Cheek / Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga –– Just duet.
Popular Problems / Leonard Cohen –– Cohenundrums.
Partners / Barbra Streisand –– Partners a crime.
Songs of Innocence / U2 –– Blakean bad.
Souled Out / Jhené Aiko –– Jhené suck quoi?
Goddess / Banks –– Doo-wah diety.
Sundown Heaven Town / Tim McGraw –– Quick Snore McGraw.
lullaby and ... The Ceaseless Roar / Robert Plant –– Potted Plant.
V / Maroon 5 –– V: D.
Somewhere Under Wonderland / Counting Crows –– Crows misconduct.
Smokey & Friends / Smokey Robinson –– Smokey mountings.
Moonshine in the Trunk / Brad Paisley –– Like a hooch enema.
Anomaly / Lecrae –– I have no explanation for it.
Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1 / Various –– Some sung Galaxy.
Space Invader / Ace Frehley –– Ace off base.
Nashville Outlaws: A Tribute to Mötley Crüe / Various –– Mötley fool.
Blacc Hollywood / Wiz Khalifa –– It takes a Wiz.
My Everything / Ariana Grande –– Isn’t enough.
They Want My Soul / Spoon –– The Loathin’ Spoonful.
1000HP / Godsmack –– Hoarse power.
5 Seconds of Summer / 5 Seconds of Summer –– Hot flash.
The Breeze – An Appreciation of JJ Cale / Eric Clapton & Friends –– Shoot The Breeze.
Hypnotic Eye / Tom Petty –– Socket to me!
Mandatory Fun / Weird Al Yankovic –– Spoof of purchase.
Yes! / Jason Mraz –– No!
The Black Market / Rise Against –– A dirty deal.
Trigga / Trey Songz –– Trigga? Finger.
X / Ed Sheeran –– Sheeran idiocy.
Strange Desire / Bleachers –– Stands down.
World Peace Is None of Your Business / Morrissey –– And songwriting is none of yours.
1000 Forms of Fear / Sia –– Including crapophobia.
Ultraviolence / Lana Del Rey –– Lana churner.
In the Lonely Hour / Sam Smith –– Snuffly Smith.
The Hunting Party / Linkin Park –– Stalk is cheap.
Band of Brothers / Willie Nelson –– Half Nelson.
A.K.A. / Jennifer Lopez –– Aliass.
Lazaretto / Jack White –– White elephant.
Stockholm / Chrissie Hynde –– Hynde site.
Platinum / Miranda Lambert –– Platinum bland.
Ghost Stories / Coldplay –– A boo boo.
Just As I Am / Brantley Gilbert –– Gilbert grate.
Behind the Light / Phillip Phillips –– Phil’s the void.
And Then You Shoot Your Cousins / Roots –– Square Roots.
Turn Blue / The Black Keys –– Hold your breath till they stop playing.
Xscape / Michael Jackson –– Jax in hole.
Rewind / Rascal Flatts –– And eject.
Blue Smoke / Dolly Parton –– Parton shot.
Unrepentant Geraldines / Tori Amos –– Amos and angsty.
Shine On / Sarah McLachlan –– Lilithputian.
Storyline / Hunter Hayes –– Purple Hayes.
Corazon / Santana –– Heart of hearing.
Sheezus / Lily Allen –– Lilygagger.
The New Classic / Iggy Azalea –– Iggy plop.
Natalie Merchant / Natalie Merchant –– Merchant bunk.
Shakira / Shakira –– Nightly.
Out Among the Stars / Johnny Cash –– Cash strapped.
Recess / Skrillex –– Recess monkey.
River Bank / Brad Paisley –– Sludgy.
SoMo / SoMo – Slomo.
Supermodel / Foster the People –– Painfully thin.
Everlasting / Martina McBride –– Endless loathe.
Welcome to the New / MercyMe –– Christian jingle.
Catacombs of the Black Vatican / Black Label Society –– Johnnie Walker's favorite band.
Spring Break…Like We Ain’t Ever / Luke Bryan –– Picked up a geetar.
Mastermind / Rick Ross –– Ross sewage.
Lift Your Spirit / Aloe Blacc –– Laccluster.
Rise of An Empire / Young Money –– Empire of the scum.
Love in the Future / John Legend –– Career in the past.
G I R L / Pharrell Williams –– Bad G I R L.
Stereolithic / 311 –– Stoned age.
Slow Me Down / Sara Evans –– She can get slower?
The Outsiders / Eric Church –– Church’s chicken.
Love, Marriage & Divorce / Toni Braxton & Babyface –– Split matches.
Morning Phase / Beck –– Awake and sink!
Oxymoron / ScHoolboy Q –– Oxy moron.
Cole Swindell / Cole Swindell –– I feel Swindelled.
Is There Anybody Out There? / A Great Big World –– Not listening to this.
Helios / The Fray –– Sun Rot.
High Hopes / Bruce Springsteen –– Dashed.
AM /Arctic Monkeys –– Morning sickness.
Yours Truly / Ariana Grande –– Grande vanilla hotte.
Frozen / Various –– In its tracks.
Loved Me Back to Life / Celine Dion –– Better off dead.
Because the Internet / Childish Gambino –– Has destroyed our taste.
Beyoncé / Beyoncé –– Gotta Bey kidding.
Blame It All on My Roots / Garth Brooks –– I tried dyin’ ‘em.
Black Panties / R. Kelly –– Laze Panties.
Feels Like Carolina / Parmalee –– The Carolina of Strom Thurmond.
Britney Jean / Britney Spears –– Brit knees peers.
Believe / Justin Bieber –– Jiebers Biebers!
Common Courtesy / A Day To Remember –– Well, excuuuse me!
Bad Blood / Bastille –– Irony poor Blood.
All the Little Lights / Passenger –– Unilluminating.
Global Warming: Meltdown / Pitbull –– Facile fuel.
Midnight Memories / One Direction –– Midnight runt.
Baptized / Daughtry –– Dippy.
The Wrong Side of Heaven and the Righteous Side of Hell: Volume 2 / Five Finger Death Punch –– Idgit ratio.

Christmas Albums 2013

Wrapped in Red / Kelly Clarkson –– Bum Wrapped.
Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas / The Robertsons –– Fowl-la-la-la-la.
A Mary Christmas / Marty J. Blige –– Much o’Blige.
Home for Christmas / Susan Boyle –– The rest home.
The King’s Gift / Trace Adkins –– A Trace of irony.
Christmas Songs / Bad Religion –– Pop pious.
Merry Christmas to You / Jonathan Butler –– Airs guitar.
Hellish Renditions of Christmas Classics / Death Metal Christmas –– Arggh the herald angels sing.
Snow Globe / Erasure –– Something’s missing.
Christmas Soli / John Fahey –– Don't duet!
Christmas Is Here / Brandon Heath –– Heath cliff.
Christmas, With Love / Leona Lewis –– Ewwy Lewis.
Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection for All the Family / Nick Lowe –– T'aint Nick.
Christmas Card / Marvin Sapp –– Sappy.
Tim Warfield’s Jazzy Christmas / Tim Warfield –– Tiny Tim.
Christmas in My Heart / Gretchen Wilson –– Gretched Wilson.

ARTPOP / Lady Gaga –– Gaga din.
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 / Eminem –– Mathers not.
Loved Me Back to Life / Celine Dion –– Dion sunders.
Reflektor / Arcade Fire –– Reflekts badly on them.
Prism / Katy Perry –– Prism break.
NEW / Paul McCartney –– NU?
Lightning Bolt / Pearl Jam –– Deaf Jam.
Make a Move / Gavin DeGraw –– DeGraw waste.
Closer to the Truth / Cher –– And the grave.
The Diving Board / Elton John –– Belly flop.
Bangerz / Miley Cyrus –– And mash.
Let’s Be Still / The Head and the Heart –– Very, very still.
Nothing Was the Same / Drake –– But it sounded that way.
From Here to Now to You / Jack Johnson –– Johnson and wails.
Days Are Gone / HAIM –– HAIM low.
Redneck Crazy / Tyler Farr –– A Farr cry.
Pure Heroine / Lorde –– Lorde, have mercy!
Crash My Party / Luke Bryan –– Pooper scooper.
Mechanical Bull / Kings of Leon –– Tossed off.
The Worse Things Get, the Harder I Fight, the Harder I Fight, the More I Love You / Neko Case ––Well, things can’t get any worse.
Trouble Will Find Me / The National –– Trouble won’t even bother.
Blurred Lines / Robin Thicke –– Smear cat.
The Civil Wars / The Civil Wars –– Suck session.
Bring You Back / Brett Eldredge –– From the dud.
3.0 / Marc Anthony –– Mock Anthony.
Crash My Party / Luke Bryan –– A crashing bore.
Hyde Park Live / The Rolling Stones –– Stinks and Stones.
Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros / Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros –– Unattractive zeros.
Paradise Valley / John Mayer –– Death Valley.
2012 Christmas Albums
Stars Dance / Selena Gomez –– To lousy music.
The Blessed Unrest / Sara Bereilles –– Under Unrest.
Surfers Paradise / Cody Simpson –– Tubular balls.
Trials & Tribulations / Ace Hood –– Hood wanked.
Magna Carta Holy Grail / Jay-Z –– Cro-Magnon Carter.
Born Sinner / J. Cole –– A lump of Cole.
The Gifted / Wale –– Wail.
Night Visions / Imagine Dragons –– Nocturnal omissions.
Here’s To The Good Times / Florida Georgia Line –– Bottom of the cracker barrel.
Yeezus / Kanye West –– Mary and Yoseff!
The Heist / Macklemore & Ryan Lewis –– A ripoff.
Grinning Streak / Barenaked Ladies –– Smile high club.
True Believers / Darius Rucker –– Long haul Rucker.
…Like Clockwork / Queens of the Stone Age –– Tick-toxic.
13/ Black Sabbath –– Queens of the Stone Age.
Super Collider / Megadeth –– Can’t get out of its own way.
Spitfire / LeAnn Rimes –– LeAnn over. Backwards.
Sleeping With Sirens / Feel –– Feel bad.
Music From Baz Luhrmann's Film: The Great Gatsby / Various –– Largemouth Baz.
Love is Everything / George Strait –– Strait and narrow.
How Mercy Looks from Here / Amy Grant –– Like this on pause.
Annie Up / Pistol Annies –– Annie hell.
Demi / Demi Lovato –– Demi less.
Time / Rod Stewart –– To retire.
Modern Vampires of the City / Vampire Weekend –– Suckathon.
Golden / Lady Antebellum –– Vocal yokels.
Mother / Natalie Maines –– Maines drag.
A / Agnetha Faltskog –– ABBA-dabba doo.
To Be Loved / Michael Bublé –– Boob play.
Oceania / Smashing Pumpkins –– Corgan transplant.
Side Effects of You / Fantasia –– Dizziness, impotence, pain when urinating.
Random Access Memories / Daft Punk –– RAM it.
Me, You & the Music / Jessica Sanchez –– Three strikes.
Ready to Die / Iggy and the Stooges –– Iggy thump.
Authentic / LL Cool J –– Really?!
Life on a Rock / Kenny Chesney –– Belongs under it.
The Terror / The Flaming Lips –– Lips’ gloss.
Save Rock and Roll / Fall Out Boy –– Save $9.99.
Wheelhouse / Brad Paisley –– Country bupkiss.
Paramore / Paramore –– Paraless.
Based on a True Story / Blake Shelton –– Horseshit.
I’m Not a Human Being II / Lil Wayne –– Wayne dire.
Girl Who Got Away / Dido –– Dodo.
All That for This / Crystal Bowersox –– For this?!
Native / OneRepublic –– Drop the t.
Same Trailer Different Park / Kacey Musgraves –– Trailer trash.
Like a Rose / Ashley Monroe –– Prickly.
What About Now / Bon Jovi –– Now what?
It Happens All the Time / Megan Hilty –– People hear this and puke.
Old Sock / Eric Clapton –– Smelly, too.
The 20/20 Experience / Justin Timberlake –– Unfocused.
People Hell & Angels / Jimi Hendrix –– Cold cuts.
The Next Day / David Bowie –– Bowie naif.
Long.Live.A$AP / A$AP Rocky –– A sap.
Les Misérables: Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack / Various –– Crowe bars.
Unorthodox Jukebox / Bruno Mars –– It only plays this crap.
Girl on Fire / Alicia Keys –– Hottie har har.
Unapologetic / Rihanna –– She’s still sorry.
GRRR! / Rolling Stones –– GRRRuel!
Rebel Soul / Kid Rock –– Rebel yellow.
Global Warming / Pitbull –– Greenhouse gas hole.
King Animal / Soundgarden –– Grunge match.
Monster / Kiss –– Of death.
iDos! / Green Day –– iDon’ts!
Lotus / Christine Aguilera –– Loutish.
The World From the Side of the Moon / Phillip Phillips –– Dizzy Phillips.
R.E.D. / Ne-Yo –– Conservative.
Born to Sing: No Plan B / Van Morrison –– A Van, a plan, banal.
Unbroken / Demi Lovato –– Do fix it.
Glad Rag Doll / Diana Krall –– Krall in from the wreckage.
Night Train / Jason Aldean –– I prefer Thunderbird.
The Truth About Love / P!ink –– It and this st!nks.
Music From Another Dimension / Aerosmith –– The height of idiocy.
Morning Parade / Morning Parade –– To the bathroom.
Red / Tayor Swift –– Tame Swift.
Away From the World / Dave Matthews Band –– But not far enough.
North / Matchbox Twenty –– Strike that.

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