MUSIC

Sweet Southern Sugar / Kid Rock –– Sweet nothing.
Live in No Shoes Nation / Kenny Chesney –– Toe jams.
Now / Shania Twain –– Mock Twain.


Heaven Upside Down / Marilyn Manson –– Marilyn McCuckoo.
Perception / NF –– NafF.
Masseduction / St.Vincent –– Oh, come-on!
Carry Fire / Robert Plant –– Plant closure.
Kane Brown / Kane Brown –– No, he Kane’t.
Wonderful Wonderful
/ the Killers –– Killer on the ludes.
Life Changes / Thomas Rhett –– Rhett bungler.
Luv is Rage 2 / Lil Uzi Vert –– Per Vert.
Meaning of Life / Kelly Clarkson –– Kelly’s zeroes.
Concrete and Gold / Foo Fighters –– Fooey.
Beautiful Trauma / Pink –– Pink lazy.
Tell Me You Love Me
/ Demi Lovato –– I cannot tell a lie.
American Dream
/ LCD Soundsystem –– Oneiric idle.
Sleep Well Beast
/ The National –– The National debit.
Native Invader / Tory Amos –– Tory and wigged.
Cozy Tapes, Vol. 2: Top Cozy / A$AP Mob –– Cozy fan ptui.
Happy Endings / Old Dominion –– Rubs the wrong way.
Fifth Harmony / Fifth Harmony –– A Fifth of crotch.
Villains / Queens of the Stone Age –– Bad guise.
Luv Is Rage 2
/ Lil Uzi Vert –– Per Vert.
Life Changes / Thomas Rhett –– Bhett bungler.
Hitchhiker
/ Neil Young –– Thumb a nose.
Rainbow
/ Kesha –– Blunder the Rainbow.
Nervous System
/ Julia Michaels –– Forlorn Michaels.
Lust for Life
/ Lana Del Rey –– Stink Rey.
Issa Album
/ 21 Savage –– Issa waste.
Grateful
/ DJ Khaled –– Dicks jockey.
Evolve / Imagine Dragons –– Grow up!
Purple Rain
/ Prince and the Revolution –– Spinning in his grave.
MOSAIC / 311 –– Tiny pieces.
4:44 / Jay-Z –– Fours of habit.
Melodrama / Lorde –– Lorde of the mannered.
Pretty Girls Like Trap Music
/ 2 Chains –– Shut your Trap.
The Nashville Sound
/ Jason Isbell –– Tennessee tight ones.
Feed the Machine
/ Nickelback –– Mechanical.
True to Self / Bryson Tiller –– Honest mistake.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / The Beatles –– Beatle barely.
Teenage Emotions / Lil Yachty –– Bit ding-y.
Is This the Life We Really Want? / Roger Waters –– Still Waters runs ‘deep’.
hopeless fountain kingdom / Halsey –– Little fuss and big Halsey.
One More Light / Linkin Park –– Linkin incontinental.
Welcome Home
/ Zac Brown Band –– Hi and dry.
From a Room: Volume 1
/ Chris Stapleton –– Chamber music.
Harry Styles
/ Harry Styles –– Hairy styles.
8
/ Incubus –– 8 isn’t enough.
The Search for Everything / John Mayer –– The discovery of nothing.
Love and War / Brad Paisley –– Barf fight.
Memories…Do Not Open / Chainsmokers –– Hacking.
Pure Comedy
/ Father John Misty –– Don’t play Misty for me.
DAMN. / Lamar Kendrick –– Lamer Kendrick.
Triplicate / Bob Dylan –– Standards and poor.
More Life / Drake –- More or less?
Tremaine the Album / Trey Songz –– Trey lecher.
Beauty and the Beast / Various –– Nookie monster.
Spirit / Depeche Mode –– Depeche load.
Mental Illness / Aimee Mann –– Mann overboard.
HNDRXX / Future –– Jammy HNDRXX.
Future / Future –– Later hosin'.
÷ / Ed Sheeran –– Lunk Division.
The Breaker / Little Big Town –– Deal Breaker.
Dirty Projectors / Dirty Projectors –– Stunt casting.
Prisoner / Ryan Adams –– Canned doo attitude.
Live in Paris
/ Sleater-Kinney –France list.
La La Land
/ Various –– For the love of mic.
11 Short Stories of Pain & Glory
/ Dropkick Murphys –– Murphys' slaw.
4 Your Eyez Only
/ J. Cole –– Lump of Cole.
Blue & Lonesome
/ The Rolling Stones –– Out of the blues.
"Awaken, My Love!"
/ Childish Gambino –– Gambino crime family.
The Hamilton Mixtape / Various –– Alexander's ragged time band.
Darkness and Light
/ John Legend –– Legend of the fall.
Moana / Various –– Tiki-tacky.
Hardwired…to Self-Destruct / Metallica –– Mission accomplished.
24K Magic / Bruno Mars –– The karat and the shtick.
The Weight of These Wings / Miranda Lambert –– Never gets off the ground.
We Got It From Here…Thank You 4 Your Service / A Tribe Called Quest –– Quest-ionable.
Starboy / The Weeknd –– Astral pain.
58th and 9th / Sting –– B Sting.
Trap or Die 3 / Jeezy –– Jeezy whiz.
Cosmic Hallelujah / Kenny Chesney –– Kenny todgers.
What's Inside: Songs from Waitress / Sara Bareilles –– Sara bore all us.
DC4 / Meek Mouse –– Meek’s cutoff.
Nobody But Me / Michael Bublé –– Likes this.
A Pentatonix Christmas / Pentatonix –– Choral riff.
The Serenity of Suffering
/ Korn –– I was calm listening to this.
WALLS
/ Kings of Leon –– The last WALLS.
1992
/ The Game –– Game over.
Mad Love / JoJo –– Obsess poo.
Joanne
/ Lady Gaga –– Lolly Gaga.
Integrity Blues
/ Jimmy Eat World –– The moral of the sorry.
Day Breaks / Norah Jones –– Shun rise.
A Seat at the Table / Solange Knowles –– Gassy Knowles.
22, a Million
/ Bon Iver –– Iver headache.
Illuminate / Shawn Mendes –– In the dark.
Farm Tour…Here’s to the Farmer
/ Luke Bryan –– Detractor pull.
Chapter and Verse
/ Bruce Springsteen –– Bruce clues.
Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway / Barbra Streisand –– Out of the mouth of Babs.
Skeleton Tree
/ Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds –– Cave in.
Glory / Britney Spears –– Spears chuckler.
Dig Your Roots
/ Florida Georgia Line –– Hoe down.
Blonde
/ Frank Ocean –– Asspit in the Ocean.
The Definition Of… / Fantasia –– Feelin’ the blank.
American Love / Jake Owen –– Not this one.
Major Key / DJ Khaled –– Khaled greens.
SremmLife 2 / Rae Sremmurd –– Sremm sleep.
Everybody Looking / Gucci Mane –– Nobody listening.
California / Blink-182 –– California reaming.
Tangled Up
/ Thomas Rhett –– And blew.
Coloring Book
/ Chance the Rapper –– Flat Chance.
The Getaway
/ Red Hot Chili Peppers –– Get away!
Last Year Was Complicated
/ Nick Jonas –– Jonas and the wail.
Hard Love / Needtobreathe –– Save your breath.
Stranger to Stranger
/ Paul Simon –– Gnarly Simon.
If I’m Honest / Blake Shelton –– Trite and true.
Hero / Maren Morris –– Baloney Hero.
Seal the Deal & Let’s Boogie / Volbeat –– Boogie bored.
Love You to Death / Tegan and Sara –– Twin piques.
Black / Dierks Bentley –– Black hole.
Unden!able
/ HellYeah –– GodNo.
I Still Do
/ Eric Clapton –– Slow band.
Chaos and the Calm
/ James Bay –– Bay of picks.
Strange Little Birds
/ Garbage –– Should've been self-titled.
A Moon Shaped Pool / Radiohead –– Luna tunes.
Ripcord
/ Keith Urban –– Jump!
You Should Be Here
/ Cole Swindell –– If you hate music.
At Night, Alone.
/ Mike Posner –– Can hear why.
Views / Drake –– Drake cakes.
Thank You / Meghan Trainor –– De nada.
Always Strive and Prosper
/ A$AP Ferg –– What a $ap.
Lemonade
/ Beyoncé –– Motherpucker.
Cleopatra
/ The Lumineers –– Cleo lame.
Gore / Deftones –– Bloody awful.
The Life of Pablo / Kanye West –– Pablo pick asshole.
Mind of Mine / Zayn –– Zayny.
What a Time to Be Alive / Drake & Future –– Better off dead.
Divers
/ Joanna Newsom –– Dumpster Divers.
Immortalized / Disturbed –– Set in stoned.
Untitled Unmastered
/ Lamar Kendrick –– Unlistenable.
Call It What It Is
/ Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals –– Harper's bizarre.
ColleGrove
/ 2 Chainz –– LinkDin.
This Unruly Mess I’ve Made / Macklemore & Ryan Lewis –– Untidy whities.
This Is What the Truth Feels Like / Gwen Stefani –– It hurts…my ears.
The Heart Speaks in Whispers / Corinne Bailey Rae –– Hoarse play.
Dangerous Woman / Ariana Grande –– Grande illusion.
For All Kings / Anthrax –– Bacilli gooses.
The Art of Hustle / Yo Gotti –– Dope rhymes.
You and I
/ Jeff Buckley –– Timid Buckley.
Dig In Deep
/ Bonnie Raitt –– Third-Raitt.
Good Grief
/ Lucius –– Need I say mourn?
Arranging Time
/ Peter Yorn –– A yorner.
Fired Up
/ Randy Houser –– Hoser.
Hamilton: An American Musical
/ Original Cast Recording –– Revolutionary Warbling.
Down to My Last Bad Habit / Vince Gill –– Making records.
EVOL
/ Future –– EVOL dead.
ANTI
/ Rihanna –– I am.
Dystopia
/ Megadeth –– Ewwtopia.
Death of a Bachelor
/ Panic! at the Disco –– Singlecide band.
Royalty / Chris Brown –– Prince of wails.
Handwritten / Sean Mendez –– Dully noted.
This Is Acting / Sia –– Sia later.
Blackstar
/ David Bowie –– Star blight.
Wildfire
/ Rachel Platten –– Platten puss.
A Head Full of Dreams / Coldplay –– Empty Dreams.
Prima Donna / Rufus Wainwright –– Doofus Wainwright.
From the Cradle to the Grave / Squeeze –– Squeeze play.
Untamed
/ Cam –– Cam shaft.
When It's Dark Out –– G-Eazy –– Ch-eazy.
Buffet /
R. Kelley –– Chafing. Ditch.
Wake Up! / Pope Francis –– Vatican ditty.
25
/ Adele –– Addled.
Purpose / Justin Bieber –– Too little Purpose.
Made in the A.M. / One Direction –– Morning dump.
Storyteller / Carrie Underwood –– aka Liar.
The Incredible True Story / Logic –– No-account.
Church in These Streets / Jeezy –– Jeezy bites.
Mr. Misunderstood
/ Eric Church –– So did Ms.
I’m Comin’ Over
/ Chris Young -– We ain’t home.
Beauty Behind the Madness
/ The Weekend –– Weekend wearier.
Know-It-All
/ Alessia Cara –– Smarty pans.
Traveller
/ Chris Stapleton –– Rambles on.
Delirium
/ Ellie Goulding –– Goulding goose.
Tangle Up
/ Thomas Rhett –– In blew.
Confident / Demi Lovato –– Why?
Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
/ Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats –– Damp with faint praise.
Revival
/ Selena Gomez –– Resuckitation.
What Dreams Are Made Of / R.City –– Sleep of faith.
The Documentary 2 / The Game –– Game on…something.
Thirty One / Jana Kramer –– Kramer worse as Kramer.
Cass County / Don Henley –– Who Cass?
Fetty Wap / Fetty Wap –– Fetid wimp.
Cold Beer Conversation / George Strait –– Strait to Hell.
Honeymoon / Lana Del Rey –– Honeymoon in vagueness.
Dodge and Burn / The Dead Weather –– Get out of Dodge.
35 mph Town / Toby Keith –– Low gear.
What A Time To Be Alive
/ Drake & Future –– Days of aww.
Tangles Up
/ Thomas Rhett –– Rhett sux.
Brave New World
/ Amanda Cook –– Dis dopier.
Unbreakable
/ Janet Jackson –– Jackson hole.
Beauty Behind the Madness
/ The Weeknd –– The weakstrt.
Badlands
/ Halsey –– Arid.
Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz
/ Miley Cyrus –– This killed them.
Crosseyed Heart
/ Keith Richards –– It’s drunk.
Emotion / Carly Rae Jepson –– Emotion sickness.
Compton
/ Dr. Dre –– Dre as a bone.
Kill the Lights / Luke Bryan –– And the MP3 player.
This Is Not a Test / TobyMac –– But you still fail.
Woman / Jill Scott –– Dread Scott.
DS2 / Future –– Future schlock.
VII: Sturm und Drang / Lamb of God –– Agonies dei.
Not an Apology
/ Bea Miller –– OK, but we’re waiting.
Black Rose
/ Tyrese –– Hoot Gibson.
Angels and Alcohol
/ Alan Jackson –– Alcohol, then angels.
Wilder Mind / Mumford & Sons –– Milder whined.
Before This World / James Taylor –– Taylor's whiffed.
Coming Home / Leon Bridges –– Cloyed Bridges.
Pageant Material / Kacey Musgraves –– A real 'beaut.'
The Original High / Adam Lambert –– Nail polish. Lots and lots of nail polish.
Duets: Re-Working the Catalogue / Van Morrison –– Vocal derangements.
How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful / Florence + the Machine –– Ebb + Flo.
AT.LONG.LAST.A$AP / A$AP Rocky –– A sap.
Drones / Muse –– Yes, it does.
Blurryface / twenty one pilots –– Unrecognizable.
No Pier Pressure / Brian Wilson –– Quay pasa?
Sol Invictus / Faith No More –– Sol about the bass.
Empires
/ Hillsong UNITED –– Empires chicken.
Out of the Wasteland
/ Lifehouse –– Just desert.
Pitch Perfect 2
/ Soundtrack –– Sinker Pitch.
Fifty Shades of Grey / Soundtrack –– Kink of pop.
Furious 7 / Soundtrack –– Screeching. Tires.
Stages / Josh Groban –– Music kill theatre.
Jekyll + Hyde / Zac Brown –– Dickishly split.
Special Effects / Tech N9ne –– N9ne wan wan.
Listen / David Guetta –– Guetta life!
Sound & Color
/ Alabama Shakes –– No great Shakes.
Talking is Hard
/ Walk the Moon –– Listening is harder.
To Pimp a Butterfly
/ Kendrick Lamar –– Doesn’t get much Lamar.
The Waterfall
/ My Morning Jacket –– Gush darn.
Second Hand Heart
/ Dwight Yoakam –– Poopy Yoakam.
Rebel Heart
/ Madonna –– Arrhythmic.
Fan of a Fan: The Album / Chris Brown & Tyga –– Tyga poor.
Piece By Piece / Kelly Clarkson –– Chunky.
First Kiss / Kid Rock –– Boom and bussed.
Dark Sky Paradise / Big Sean –– Sean lemon.
Of Beauty and Rage / Red –– Beat Red.
Just Kids
/ Mat Kearney –– I hope he’s kidding.
Non-Fiction
/ Ne-Yo –– The knackered truth.
If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late
/ Drake –– If you’re listening it's hopeless.
Smoke + Mirrors
/ Imagine Dragons –– Bland illusion.
American Beauty/American Psycho
/ Fall Out Boy –– Thin, schizzy.
B4.Da.$$
/ Joey Badass –– Badass you expect it to be.
Title
/ Meghan Trainor –– All about that waste.
Vulnicura / Björk –– Barney rubble.
Sweet Talker / Jessie J –– Sour singer.
Man Against Machine / Garth Brooks –– The multitrack recorder.
SremmLife / Rae Sremmurd –– Sremmix it.
Reclassified / Iggy Azalea –– As ‘noise.’
Globalization / Pitbull –– Muzzle tov.
For You / Selena Gomez –– Thanks, but no thanks.
Montevallo / Sam Hunt –– Hell ’n’ Hunt.
Four / One Direction –– On the floor.
Hozier / Hozier –– Hoser.
The Pinkprint
/ Nicki Minaj –– She made it sitting on the jewel case.
Black Messiah / D’Angelo –– Irredeemable.
Sucker
/ Charli XCX –– She’s talkin’ to you.
Lost on the River: The New Basement Tapes
/ The New Basement Tapes –– Dylan it back.
Nick Jonas
/ Nick Jonas –– Dour Jonas.
Shmurda She Wrote / Bobby Shmurda –– Shmurda on the ears.
Melody Road / Neil Diamond –– Diamond in the rough.
Storytone / Neil Young –– Mighty D’oh! Young.
It’s the Girls! / Bette Midler –– And they really sag.
Nostalgia / Annie Lennox –– For when I mattered.
Paperwork / T.I. –– Drudgery.

Painkiller / Little Big Town –– Anodyne to hear this?
Under Pressure
/ Logic –– In the bladder.
Sings the Great Diva Classics
/ Aretha Franklin –– Bent Franklin.
Hope / Susan Boyle
–– She took her meds.
Ride Out / Bob Seger
–– Peed Seger.
The Gray Chapter / Slipknot
–– Knot half bad.
Sonic Highways
/ Foo Fighters –– Foo’s ball.
1989
/ Taylor Swift –– Natal-gazing.
Old Boots, New Dirt
/ Jason Aldean –– Soiled rotten.
Anything Goes
/ Florida Georgia Line –– Even this crap?


Plectrumelectrum / Prince & 3RDEYEGIRL –– Inspectumarectum.
Art Official Age
/ Prince –– Too old for this.
Cheek to Cheek / Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga –– Just duet.
Popular Problems / Leonard Cohen –– Cohenundrums.
Partners
/ Barbra Streisand –– Partners a crime.
Songs of Innocence / U2 –– Blakean bad.
Souled Out / Jhené Aiko –– Jhené suck quoi?
Goddess / Banks –– Doo-wah diety.
Sundown Heaven Town / Tim McGraw –– Quick Snore McGraw.
lullaby and ... The Ceaseless Roar / Robert Plant –– Potted Plant.
V / Maroon 5 –– V: D.
Somewhere Under Wonderland
/ Counting Crows –– Crows misconduct.
Smokey & Friends
/ Smokey Robinson –– Smokey mountings.
Moonshine in the Trunk
/ Brad Paisley –– Like a hooch enema.
Anomaly / Lecrae –– I have no explanation for it.
Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1
/ Various –– Some sung Galaxy.
Space Invader / Ace Frehley –– Ace off base.
Nashville Outlaws: A Tribute to Mötley Crüe / Various –– Mötley fool.
Blacc Hollywood / Wiz Khalifa –– It takes a Wiz.
My Everything / Ariana Grande –– Isn’t enough.
They Want My Soul / Spoon –– The Loathin’ Spoonful.
1000HP
/ Godsmack –– Hoarse power.
5 Seconds of Summer
/ 5 Seconds of Summer –– Hot flash.
The Breeze – An Appreciation of JJ Cale
/ Eric Clapton & Friends –– Shoot The Breeze.
Hypnotic Eye
/ Tom Petty –– Socket to me!
Mandatory Fun / Weird Al Yankovic –– Spoof of purchase.
Yes! / Jason Mraz –– No!
The Black Market / Rise Against –– A dirty deal.
Trigga / Trey Songz –– Trigga? Finger.
X / Ed Sheeran –– Sheeran idiocy.

TOP

Cinema
Television
Theatre
Music
Music 2
Christmas Music 2016
Literature

E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Strange Desire / Bleachers –– Stands down.
World Peace Is None of Your Business
/ Morrissey –– And songwriting is none of yours.
1000 Forms of Fear
/ Sia –– Including crapophobia.
Ultraviolence
/ Lana Del Rey –– Lana churner.
In the Lonely Hour / Sam Smith –– Snuffly Smith.
The Hunting Party / Linkin Park –– Stalk is cheap.
Band of Brothers / Willie Nelson –– Half Nelson.
A.K.A. / Jennifer Lopez –– Aliass.
Lazaretto / Jack White –– White elephant.
Stockholm
/ Chrissie Hynde –– Hynde site.


Platinum / Miranda Lambert –– Platinum bland.
Ghost Stories / Coldplay –– A boo boo.
Just As I Am / Brantley Gilbert –– Gilbert grate.
Behind the Light / Phillip Phillips –– Phil’s the void.
And Then You Shoot Your Cousins / Roots –– Square Roots.
Turn Blue / The Black Keys –– Hold your breath till they stop playing.
Xscape / Michael Jackson –– Jax in hole.
Rewind / Rascal Flatts –– And eject.
Blue Smoke / Dolly Parton –– Parton shot.
Unrepentant Geraldines / Tori Amos –– Amos and angsty.
Shine On / Sarah McLachlan –– Lilithputian.
Storyline
/ Hunter Hayes –– Purple Hayes.
Corazon
/ Santana –– Heart of hearing.
Sheezus
/ Lily Allen –– Lilygagger.
The New Classic
/ Iggy Azalea –– Iggy plop.
Natalie Merchant
/ Natalie Merchant –– Merchant bunk.
Shakira
/ Shakira –– Nightly.
Out Among the Stars / Johnny Cash –– Cash strapped.
Recess / Skrillex –– Recess monkey.
River Bank / Brad Paisley –– Sludgy.
SoMo / SoMo – Slomo.
Supermodel / Foster the People –– Painfully thin.
Everlasting
/ Martina McBride –– Endless loathe.
Welcome to the New
/ MercyMe –– Christian jingle.
Catacombs of the Black Vatican
/ Black Label Society –– Johnnie Walker's favorite band.
Spring Break…Like We Ain’t Ever
/ Luke Bryan –– Picked up a geetar.
Mastermind / Rick Ross –– Ross sewage.
Lift Your Spirit / Aloe Blacc –– Laccluster.
Rise of An Empire / Young Money –– Empire of the scum.
Love in the Future / John Legend –– Career in the past.
G I R L / Pharrell Williams –– Bad G I R L.
Stereolithic / 311 –– Stoned age.
Slow Me Down
/ Sara Evans –– She can get slower?
The Outsiders
/ Eric Church –– Church’s chicken.
Love, Marriage & Divorce / Toni Braxton & Babyface –– Split matches.
Morning Phase / Beck –– Awake and sink!
Oxymoron / ScHoolboy Q –– Oxy moron.
Cole Swindell / Cole Swindell –– I feel Swindelled.
Is There Anybody Out There? / A Great Big World –– Not listening to this.
Helios
/ The Fray –– Sun Rot.
High Hopes / Bruce Springsteen –– Dashed.
AM
/Arctic Monkeys –– Morning sickness.
Yours Truly / Ariana Grande –– Grande vanilla hotte.
Frozen / Various –– In its tracks.
Loved Me Back to Life / Celine Dion –– Better off dead.
Because the Internet / Childish Gambino –– Has destroyed our taste.
Beyoncé / Beyoncé –– Gotta Bey kidding.
Blame It All on My Roots
/ Garth Brooks –– I tried dyin’ ‘em.
Black Panties
/ R. Kelly –– Laze Panties.
Feels Like Carolina
/ Parmalee –– The Carolina of Strom Thurmond.
Britney Jean / Britney Spears –– Brit knees peers.
Believe / Justin Bieber –– Jiebers Biebers!
Common Courtesy
/ A Day To Remember –– Well, excuuuse me!
Bad Blood
/ Bastille –– Irony poor Blood.
All the Little Lights
/ Passenger –– Unilluminating.
Global Warming: Meltdown
/ Pitbull –– Facile fuel.
Midnight Memories / One Direction –– Midnight runt.
Baptized / Daughtry –– Dippy.
The Wrong Side of Heaven and the Righteous Side of Hell: Volume 2 / Five Finger Death Punch –– Idgit ratio.

Christmas Albums 2013

Wrapped in Red / Kelly Clarkson –– Bum Wrapped.
Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas / The Robertsons –– Fowl-la-la-la-la.
A Mary Christmas / Marty J. Blige –– Much o’Blige.
Home for Christmas / Susan Boyle –– The rest home.
The King’s Gift / Trace Adkins –– A Trace of irony.
Christmas Songs / Bad Religion –– Pop pious.
Merry Christmas to You / Jonathan Butler –– Airs guitar.
Hellish Renditions of Christmas Classics / Death Metal Christmas –– Arggh the herald angels sing.
Snow Globe / Erasure –– Something’s missing.
Christmas Soli / John Fahey –– Don't duet!
Christmas Is Here / Brandon Heath –– Heath cliff.
Christmas, With Love / Leona Lewis –– Ewwy Lewis.
Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection for All the Family / Nick Lowe –– T'aint Nick.
Christmas Card / Marvin Sapp –– Sappy.
Tim Warfield’s Jazzy Christmas / Tim Warfield –– Tiny Tim.
Christmas in My Heart / Gretchen Wilson –– Gretched Wilson.


ARTPOP / Lady Gaga –– Gaga din.
The Marshall Mathers LP 2
/ Eminem –– Mathers not.
Loved Me Back to Life
/ Celine Dion –– Dion sunders.
Reflektor
/ Arcade Fire –– Reflekts badly on them.
Prism
/ Katy Perry –– Prism break.
NEW / Paul McCartney –– NU?
Lightning Bolt
/ Pearl Jam –– Deaf Jam.
Make a Move / Gavin DeGraw –– DeGraw waste.
Closer to the Truth / Cher –– And the grave.
The Diving Board
/ Elton John –– Belly flop.
Bangerz / Miley Cyrus –– And mash.
Let’s Be Still / The Head and the Heart –– Very, very still.
Nothing Was the Same
/ Drake –– But it sounded that way.
From Here to Now to You
/ Jack Johnson –– Johnson and wails.
Days Are Gone
/ HAIM –– HAIM low.
Redneck Crazy
/ Tyler Farr –– A Farr cry.
Pure Heroine
/ Lorde –– Lorde, have mercy!
Crash My Party
/ Luke Bryan –– Pooper scooper.
Mechanical Bull
/ Kings of Leon –– Tossed off.
The Worse Things Get, the Harder I Fight, the Harder I Fight, the More I Love You / Neko Case ––Well, things can’t get any worse.
Trouble Will Find Me / The National –– Trouble won’t even bother.
Blurred Lines
/ Robin Thicke –– Smear cat.
The Civil Wars / The Civil Wars –– Suck session.
Bring You Back / Brett Eldredge –– From the dud.
3.0
/ Marc Anthony –– Mock Anthony.
Crash My Party
/ Luke Bryan –– A crashing bore.
Hyde Park Live / The Rolling Stones –– Stinks and Stones.
Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
/ Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros –– Unattractive zeros.
Paradise Valley
/ John Mayer –– Death Valley.
Stars Dance / Selena Gomez –– To lousy music.
The Blessed Unrest / Sara Bereilles –– Under Unrest.
Surfers Paradise / Cody Simpson –– Tubular balls.
Trials & Tribulations / Ace Hood –– Hood wanked.
Magna Carta Holy Grail / Jay-Z –– Cro-Magnon Carter.
Born Sinner
/ J. Cole –– A lump of Cole.
The Gifted / Wale –– Wail.
Night Visions / Imagine Dragons –– Nocturnal omissions.
Here’s To The Good Times / Florida Georgia Line –– Bottom of the cracker barrel.
Yeezus / Kanye West –– Mary and Yoseff!
The Heist / Macklemore & Ryan Lewis –– A ripoff.
Grinning Streak / Barenaked Ladies –– Smile high club.
True Believers
/ Darius Rucker –– Long haul Rucker.
…Like Clockwork / Queens of the Stone Age –– Tick-toxic.
13/ Black Sabbath –– Queens of the Stone Age.
Super Collider / Megadeth –– Can’t get out of its own way.
Spitfire / LeAnn Rimes –– LeAnn over. Backwards.
Sleeping With Sirens / Feel –– Feel bad.
Music From Baz Luhrmann's Film: The Great Gatsby
/ Various –– Largemouth Baz.
Love is Everything / George Strait –– Strait and narrow.
How Mercy Looks from Here / Amy Grant –– Like this on pause.
Annie Up / Pistol Annies –– Annie hell.
Demi
/ Demi Lovato –– Demi less.
Time / Rod Stewart –– To retire.
Modern Vampires of the City / Vampire Weekend –– Suckathon.
Golden / Lady Antebellum –– Vocal yokels.
Mother / Natalie Maines –– Maines drag.
A / Agnetha Faltskog –– ABBA-dabba doo.
To Be Loved
/ Michael Bublé –– Boob play.
Oceania / Smashing Pumpkins –– Corgan transplant.
Side Effects of You / Fantasia –– Dizziness, impotence, pain when urinating.
Random Access Memories / Daft Punk –– RAM it.
Me, You & the Music / Jessica Sanchez –– Three strikes.
Ready to Die / Iggy and the Stooges –– Iggy thump.
Authentic / LL Cool J –– Really?!
Life on a Rock / Kenny Chesney –– Belongs under it.
The Terror
/ The Flaming Lips –– Lips’ gloss.
Save Rock and Roll / Fall Out Boy –– Save $9.99.
Wheelhouse / Brad Paisley –– Country bupkiss.
Paramore / Paramore –– Paraless.
Based on a True Story / Blake Shelton –– Horseshit.
I’m Not a Human Being II / Lil Wayne –– Wayne dire.
Girl Who Got Away / Dido –– Dodo.
All That for This / Crystal Bowersox –– For this?!
Native / OneRepublic –– Drop the t.
Same Trailer Different Park / Kacey Musgraves –– Trailer trash.
Like a Rose / Ashley Monroe –– Prickly.
What About Now / Bon Jovi –– Now what?
It Happens All the Time
/ Megan Hilty –– People hear this and puke.
Old Sock
/ Eric Clapton –– Smelly, too.
The 20/20 Experience / Justin Timberlake –– Unfocused.
People Hell & Angels
/ Jimi Hendrix –– Cold cuts.
The Next Day / David Bowie –– Bowie naif.
Long.Live.A$AP / A$AP Rocky –– A sap.
Les Misérables: Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack / Various –– Crowe bars.
Unorthodox Jukebox / Bruno Mars –– It only plays this crap.
Girl on Fire / Alicia Keys –– Hottie har har.
Unapologetic / Rihanna –– She’s still sorry.

GRRR! / Rolling Stones –– GRRRuel!
Rebel Soul / Kid Rock –– Rebel yellow.
2012 Christmas Albums
Global Warming / Pitbull –– Greenhouse gas hole.
King Animal / Soundgarden –– Grunge match.
Monster / Kiss –– Of death.
iDos! / Green Day –– iDon’ts!
Lotus / Christine Aguilera –– Loutish.
The World From the Side of the Moon / Phillip Phillips –– Dizzy Phillips.
R.E.D. / Ne-Yo –– Conservative.
Born to Sing: No Plan B / Van Morrison –– A Van, a plan, banal.
Unbroken / Demi Lovato –– Do fix it.
Glad Rag Doll / Diana Krall –– Krall in from the wreckage.
Night Train / Jason Aldean –– I prefer Thunderbird.
The Truth About Love / P!ink –– It and this st!nks.
Music From Another Dimension / Aerosmith –– The height of idiocy.
Morning Parade / Morning Parade –– To the bathroom.
Red / Tayor Swift –– Tame Swift.
Away From the World / Dave Matthews Band –– But not far enough.
North / Matchbox Twenty –– Strike that.
Eye On It / Toby Mac –– Eye-Mac.
Havoc and Bright Lights / Alanis Morisette –– Havoc cow.
Overexposed / Maroon 5 –– Put it back in your pants.
Blown Away / Carrie Underwood –– Blown every way.
Tempest / Bob Dylan –– In a teapot.
The Lumineers / The Lumineers –– Lite show.
Believe / Justin Bieber –– Shaved Bieber.
God Forgives, I Don’t / Rick Ross –– Me neither.
Living Things / Linkin Park –– Should not be subjected to this.
Looking 4 Myself / Usher –– Check in the remainder bin.
Fortune / Chris Brown –– Cocky.
California 37
/ Train –– Train wreck.
Born and Raised
/ John Mayer –– Raised a racket.
Write Me Back
/ R. Kelly –– From grade school.
Life Is Good
/ Nas –– Nas scar.
Welcome to the Fishbowl
/ Kenny Chesney –– Tanks.
Love Is a Four Letter Word
/ Jason Mraz –– Mrazzberry.
Wrecking Ball
/ Bruce Springsteen –– Demo version.
Whitney: The Greatest Hits / Whitney Houston –– Of coke.

Own The Night / Lady Antebellum –– For a limited time only!
Kisses On The Bottom / Paul McCartney –– On my bottom.
Making Mirrors / Gotye –– Reflects poorly on him.
Born to Die /Lana Del Rey –– Del Rey beached.
Old Ideas / Leonard Cohen –– Cohen head.
Soul 2 / Seal –– Souled out.
Emotional Traffic / Tim McGraw –– Offender bender.
100 Proof / Kellie Pickler –– Pickled.
Take Care / Drake –– Wary, wary bad.
El Camino / The Black Keys –– Same old same alt.


Stronger / Kelly Clarkson –– Then dirt.
Talk That Talk / Rihanna –– Blah Blah Blahs.
Duets II / Tony Bennett –– Double jeopardy.
Open Invitation / Tyrese –– To sneer.
Clear As Day / Scotty McCreery –– That he’s got no talent.
Mylo Xyloto / Coldplay –– Moldplay.
Someone to Watch Over Me / Susan Boyle –– With a net and a tranquilizer gun.
Ceremonials / Florence + the Machine –– Bull of rites.
Four the Record / Miranda Lambert –– Four the birds.
Bad As Me / Tom Waits –– Few are.

Christmas Albums 2011

Under the Mistletoe / Justin Bieber –– You’ll find my ass.
Christmas / Michael Bublé –– Flat Bublé.
Heavenly Christmas / Jackie Evancho –– Only if you're dead.
A Holiday Carole / Carole King –– Carol kink.
A Very She & Him Christmas / She & Him –– Shim shim cherie.
Chicago XXXIII: O Christmas Three / Chicago –– XXXIII and a turd.
Songs of December / Paul Anka –– Anka's away.
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year / Scott Weiland –– I saw mommy shooting up Santa Claus.
Glory in the Highest / Chris Tomlin –– Scott Weiland likes it.
Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album Volume 2 / Glee Cast –– Spike Glee.


Th1rt3en / Megadeth –– Which is how meth addicts spell it.
Clancy’s Tavern / Toby Keith –– Keith mooin’.
Watch the Throne / Jay-Z & Kanye West –– The white porcelain kind.
Tha Carter IV / Lil Wayne –– Trash Carter.
I'm With You / Red Hot Chili Peppers –– Like herpes.
What Matters Most / Barbra Streisand –– Sing, mar Bergman.
Doo-Wops & Hooligans / Bruno Mars –– Mars bahs.
Dream With Me / Jackie Evancho –– Evancho lists.
4 / Beyoncé — The flab 4.
When the Sun Goes Down / Selena Gomez and the Scene — How about when the daughter goes down?
The Light of the Sun / Jill Scott — Rays riot.
This Is Country Music / Brad Paisley — Which is why we hate it.
Born This Way / Lady Gaga — Birth stoned.
21 / Adele — Glum salute.
Sigh No More / Mumford & Sons — *Sigh*
Lungs / Florence + The Machine — Lunks.
The Suburbs / Arcade Fire — Hacksville.
My Kinda Party / Jason Aldean — With fellers in dresses.
The Lady Killer / Cee Lo Green — Cee Lee.
No Mercy / T.I. — It is brutal.
Michael / Michael Jackson — Milkin'.
Best Night of My Life / Jamie Foxx — Dredd Foxx.
Calling All Hearts / Keyshia Cole — Megahurts.
Illuminations / Josh Groban — Dim.
Love Letter / R. Kelly — Written in crayon.
No Boys Allowed / Keri Hilson — No girls aloud.
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy / Kanye West — Hazardous West.
Loud / Rihanna — Mouth.
Pink Friday / Nicki Minaj — Plastic rap.
Born Free / Kid Rock — Rock bottom.
Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys / My Chemical Romance — Chemical spill.
The Gift / Susan Boyle — Regift.
Come Around Sundown / Kings of Leon — Dusk mites.
Speak Now / Taylor Swift — Or forever hold your piss.
I Am Not A Human Being / Lil Wayne — We knew that.
Charleston, SC 1966 / Darius Rucker — Charleston chews.
Hemingway's Whiskey / Kenny Chesney — Overly Ernest.
Bullets In The Gun / Toby Keith — Draws a blank.
A Thousand Suns / Linkin Park — Ape Linkin.
Kaleidoscope Heart / Sara Bareilles — Vein attempt.
Teenage Dream / Katy Perry — Of the wet variety.
Band of Joy / Robert Plant — Blubber Band.
Hurley / Weezer — Does make you want to hurl.
Asylum / Disturbed — Heavy mental.
Back To Me / Fantasia — Suicide notes.
Recovery / Eminem — Fecal Mathers.
Can't be Tamed / Miley Cyrus — Or paper trained.
Scream / Ozzy Osbourne — Ozzyfied.
Mojo / Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers — Petty poison.
Thank Me Later / Drake — For telling you to avoid this now.

Laws of Illusion / Sarah McLachlan — Mirage license.
Bionic / Christina Aguilera — Roboflop.
Glee: The Music, Journey to the Regionals / Soundtrack — Kitsch n' synch.
Up on the Ridge / Dierks Bentley — For jierks.
Sweet and Wild / Jewel — Kilcher shock.
To The Sea / Jack Johnson — Putrid Sound.
Contra / Vampire Weekend — Banned.
Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix / Phoenix — Johan Sebastian Crock.
Soldier of Love / Sade — Shoddy.
Rebirth / Lil Wayne — Borin' again.

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