Greene Eyed Monster
Week of 11/21/25
Actual headlines from the internets. You Google 'em.
Trump-Marjorie Taylor Greene breakup shakes MAGA: ‘Mom and Dad are separated’
–– Mutually, from reality.
Epstein Emails Reveal a Lost New York
–– And really lost New Yorker.
Jeffrey Epstein's Brother Believes Trump Delayed Release of Files Because 'There's Things in There He Doesn't Want People to See'
–– Talk about rush to judgment!
Trump called Epstein moments after defeating Clinton in the 2016 election, pedophile’s brother claims
–– Or approx. 15 years before 2019.
Marjorie Taylor Greene announces resignation from Congress after President Trump withdraws endorsement
–– Lost pope-a-dope's imprimatur.
Michael Cohen's message for Marjorie Taylor Greene: "Welcome to the under-the-bus club”
–– For those dishonest, dumb enough to have gotten on it.
Clay Higgins was the only Republican to vote against the Epstein files release. Here’s what he said
–– ‘I defend every American’s right to pedophilia!'
Trump does Epstein U-turn as House Republicans prepare to spurn him
–– In one-lane dead-end alley.
Trump’s Epstein files capitulation betrays a rare weakness
–– Or rarer strength in his Congressional minions?
Mike Johnson ‘Deeply Disappointed’ as Senate Speeds Epstein Bill Through
–– Wee wee-wee.
Donald Trump Snaps at Female Reporter Who Asks About Epstein Files: 'Quiet Piggy'
–– Quoth Napoleon.
Karoline Leavitt Tells Reporter Trump's 'Piggy' Insult Shows He's 'Respectful' by Being 'Honest to Your Faces'
–– Sow it goes.
Newsom Mocks Leavitt After She Defends Trump’s ‘Piggy’ Insult
–– Swine cooler.
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt Discussed Her "Unusual" Relationship With Her 60-Year-Old Husband
–– In latest slang for "fortune hunting."
A puppy and unlimited toilet paper? Legal experts say Ghislaine Maxwell’s alleged prison life is uncommon
–– Puppy gift from pussy.
How the shutdown left Democrats questioning Chuck Schumer’s future more than ever
–– Ughh, looks just like him.
Jeffrey Epstein’s Brother Claims He Heard ‘from a Pretty Good Source’ That Epstein Files Are Being Scrubbed of Republican Names
–– Rationality?
Epstein Survivor Who Voted for Trump Calls His 'Behavior' Toward Epstein Files a 'National Embarrassment': 'Stop Making This Political'
–– 'Because I'm a political idiot.'
The Three G.O.P. Women Who Broke Trump’s Grip on Congress
–– Yippee for Boebert, Greene, Mace who got one thing right in entire careers!
“Worst Attempt At Damage Control": People Are Reacting To This White House Post Of Melania And Trump "In Love"
–– Like Nat Geo doc on lizards mating.
Karoline Leavitt Claims White House Blocked Access for Reporters Because They Were Caught Spying on Staff
–– Kept ‘looking at us when we answered questions.’
What You Should Know About Russ Vought, Trump’s Shadow President
–– Russ never sleeps.
'I'll be cheering for him': Takeaways from Trump and Mamdani's surprisingly cordial meeting
–– Definitive proof of dementia, if needed.
‘Fascist’? ‘Communist’? For an Afternoon, They Were Just 2 Guys From Queen
–– Neither of which could define either.
Judge says possible errors by Lindsey Halligan could imperil Comey case
–– Lindsey f**ing scam.
MAGA Beauty Queen Fumes After Being Labeled Trump’s ‘Puppet’
–– Makes Lamb Chop look like RBG.
Trump calls for arrest of ‘seditious’ Democrats who told troops their duty is to uphold the Constitution
–– Bull dog sedition.
Gavin Newsom Just Responded To Trump's Suggestion That Dem Lawmakers Deserve Death
–– Kill switch?
U.S. Coast Guard will no longer classify swastikas, nooses as hate symbols
–– Trying to work them into new Department of War logo.
Exclusive: What led the Army to investigate gynecologist described in lawsuit as a ‘predator in uniform’
–– Hegseth thought he sounded like top brass material.
CDC in turmoil after agency backpedals on debunking vaccines-autism link
–– How about 'promotes vaccines-autism link', WaPo?
Scientists Freak Out as RFK Jr.’s CDC Makes Jaw-Dropping Vaccine U-Turn
–– Jaw, other body parts to drop off.
If you think beef is expensive now, just wait until next year when prices could soar nearly 60%
–– Nah, we're going to think it's expensive now.
Does Trump Know the Price of Milk?
–– As he twists Treasury's teat in wringer.
‘Can’t Be Serious’: Trump Official Roasted for Bizarre Take That Migrants Bringing Cattle With Them Are to Blame for Higher Beef Prices
–– Steers queer.
A Fraudster Pardoned by Trump Gets 37 Years for Running Ponzi Scheme
–– Hopefully squirreled enough illegal funds away for another healthy bribe.
FEMA chief steps down as Trump administration prepared to oust him
–- Blown away.
Trump administration to announce dismantling of much of Education Dept.
–– Sec. McMahon with aid of Kane.
Donald Trump Crashes Wedding at Mar-a-Lago, Tells Guest You're 'Going to Get Me into Heaven'
–– After getting him Nobel Peace Prize, Olympic Gold Medal, James Beard Award.
Trump Claims ‘I’m Not a Sleeper’ in Oval Office Photo Op — Days After Appearing to Fall Asleep on Camera in Oval Office
–– 'A sleeper agent for Russia, maybe.'
Trump won't attend former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney's funeral
–– Dick will keep bed warm for him in Hell.
All Living Former Vice Presidents — but Not JD Vance — Reunite at Dick Cheney's Funeral
–– Read ‘em and veep.
Former Trump official lashes out at ‘seriously dangerous’ Kash Patel and says FBI chief makes him ‘fear’ the government
–– 'Seriously' in silliest possible way.
Trump muses about what it would take to strip US World Cup host cities of games just months before the tournament kicks off
–– Like monkey pondering where next to toss scat.
What Barron Trump Told Joe Biden Moments Before His Father's Ruthless Inauguration Speech
–– 'Help!'
Eric Trump Reveals Which Family Member Is 'Kind Of A Jerk'
–– All others 100%.
Plastic Surgeons Say They’re Getting Requests For 1 Unsettling Look — And It’s Thanks To Trump
–– Marred-a-lago.
Nancy Pelosi Tells CNN She Could Have Said 'Much Worse' After Calling Trump 'the Worst Thing on the Face of the Earth'
–– Do tell!
Rep. Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick indicted on charges of stealing $5M in disaster funds
–– Ain't no vaccine for greed.
John Fetterman’s New Book BOMBS, Sells Zero Copies in His Hometown’s Barnes & Noble on Launch Day
–– Publisher assumed his base could read?
Saudi crown prince to meet Trump in White House, shedding pariah status
–– Retaining piranha status.
Trump says he will sell F-35s to Saudi Arabia on eve of crown prince's Washington visit
–– And personally remove nits from beard.
'A disgusting display': 9/11 family member reacts to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman's Oval Office visit
–– Salmanella poisoning.
‘He Is Out of Control’: MAGA Demands Answers After Trump Ambassador Mike Huckabee Covertly Meets With Spy Who Sold American Secrets
–– Sucker be.
Trump urges Ukraine to accept plan after Zelenskyy warns he could lose U.S. support
–– So-called Putin Protocols.
Ukraine's allies voice concerns over US plan to end war
–– Should be glad he didn't throw in Poland.
U.S. Banks Shelve $20 Billion Bailout Plan for Argentina
–– Pampas circumstances?
As Tokyo embraces a 4-day workweek to fight ‘death by overwork,’ Japan’s new prime minister just called a 3 a.m. meeting
–– In her sleep!
Elon Musk says that in 10 to 20 years, work will be optional and money will be irrelevant thanks to AI and robotics
–– Tokyo should be relieved.
MSNBC Makes The Shift To MS NOW As Part Of Split From Comcast
–– And logo that would embarrass AI.
The old MSNBC relaunches into a new media world
–– Like Musk's Starship 36.
Nvidia turns negative after Ray Dalio warns the latest market boom is a ‘big bubble with big wealth gaps’ poised for a politically explosive bust
–– Nvidious?
DJT Stock Has Cratered, Wiping Out More Than $5 Billion in Trump Family Wealth
–– You’d had to have been living on moon to invest.
AI Hacks AI: Cybercriminals Unleash An AI-Powered, Self-Replicating Botnet
–– AI on case!
Gov. Greg Abbott was ordered to release emails with Elon Musk. Most of the 1,400 pages are blacked out.
–– Like most of Texas GOP.
Americans Are Losing Their Minds After Learning That Elon Musk Will Make More In A Year Than Every Single US Grade School Teacher Combined
–– Is providing invaluable lesson on grave danger of unchecked capitalism.
Turning Point USA grossly underestimated how many people would attend event where Charlie Kirk was killed, documents show
–– And grossness of Utah.
The Osbournes were sent blood and toenails from woman claiming to be Ozzy Osbourne's daughter after his death
–– No bat wing?
Lena Dunham Says ‘Too Much’ Rom-Com Series Ending After One Season at Netflix
–– Sequel Enough Already?
Eddie Murphy to Be Honored With AFI Life Achievement Award
–– Hope he shows up as Klump.
Joe Rogan Had the Most Popular Podcast On Apple in 2025
–– Talk about an ear worm.
Cheryl Hines’ Former Podcast Co-Host Reveals How She Changed After RFK Jr. Campaign
–– Tig's off?
Woman Who Played Sesame Street’s Maria Admits to Having Flirtatious Relationship With Oscar the Grouch
–– This week in Trash Talk.
James Patterson Is Pretty Sure Marilyn Monroe Was Murdered
–– Or would like us to assume so to sell his 285th , 290th?, 300th? book.
Tom Cruise Accepts Honorary Oscar With Emotional Speech at Governors Awards: ‘Making Films Is Not What I Do, It Is Who I Am’
–– All the more reason to dislike.
Steven Spielberg Says He Is “Fighting the Tides” to Keep Movies Like ‘Hamnet’ in Theaters So It’s “Not Just Blockbuster” Films on the Big Screen
–– With movie that sounds like Porky Pig spin-off that’s actually about William Shakespeare’s dead son?
Billy Bob Thornton got hurt filming that fiery family dinner scene in the “Landman” season 2 premiere
–– Who dished it out?
‘Superman #1’ copy found in attic becomes most expensive comic ever sold
–– 95-year-old nerd somewhere curses mom for throwing out.
Gersh Drops ‘Succession’ Actress Dasha Nekrasova After Podcast With White Nationalist Nick Fuentes
–– After her suck session.
“We Analyzed Hitler’s DNA - and what we discovered made us gasp”
–– "He might've been cuckoo, wack-a-doo, Nazi fagan!"
‘The View’: Sara Haines Drops an F-Bomb On-Air After Mentalist Correctly Guesses – and Reveals – Her ATM PIN Code
–– Code was 6969!
Dick Van Dyke Says He 'Almost' Played James Bond, But Turned the Role Down for One Major Reason
–– At 99 he hallucinated incident.
Jelly Roll reveals beardless face after not shaving in a decade
–– Um, uh, thanks?
Viola Davis, Ryan Coogler break down at Chadwick Boseman's Walk of Fame star ceremony
–– Vehicles conveniently right in front at curb.
’Friends’ Spinoff ‘Joey’ Finally Releases Its Final Eight Unaired Episodes Nearly 20 Years Later
–– It’s aged like fine red Hi-C.
Surviving Milli Vanilli Star Nearly Unrecognizable in Rare Appearance — 35 Years After Grammy Scandal
–– We don't care for Millisecond.
Miss Mexico, who sparked a walkout after host's bullying, is crowned Miss Universe
–– In sombrero!
The Golfer Who Went From World No. 1 to Public Enemy No. 1
–– Did Greg Norman murder people with shanked balls to heads?
Met Museum unveils 2026 Met Gala theme: ‘Costume Art’
–– Took geniuses year to think of that.
In major auction night, rare Klimt painting smashes records at $236.4 million
–– Snatched by Klimptomaniac.
Move over fillers - here's why people are having facial injections made from fish sperm
–– Getting fish to jerk off into pores pretty tricky.
This McDonald's Breakfast Item Is A No-Go — Seriously, Avoid It At All Costs
–– We found sausage burrito a go-go.
McDonald’s New Holiday Meal Features A Nostalgic Menu Item From The '90s And Might Just Grow Your Heart Three Sizes
–– By filling arteries with plaque.
O.J. Simpson's Estate Has Officially Agreed to Pay Fred Goldman Millions, 31 Years After the Murder of His Son Ron
–– The Naked Gall!
Triple Murderer Ate Final Meal, Including Egg Rolls and Chocolate Cake, Before Being Executed by Firing Squad
–– Stomach was already killing him.
New Jersey organ procurement organization under congressional investigation after ‘alarming’ whistleblower claims
–– Efforts called 'heartless', 'lily-livered', 'brain-dead.'
Enormous hoard of black dinosaur bones discovered in Transylvania. That's not all that was found
–– Huge crucifix used to ward off?
A Tiny Apelike Humanoid May Still Be Living in Plain Sight, Scientist Says
–– But we haven’t been to Chuck E. Cheese’s lately.
Kissing is an ‘evolutionary conundrum.’ Scientists just mapped its unexpected origins
–– Why most men snog like monkeys.
President could reveal aliens exist in 'near future,' says director behind bombshell UAP doc
–– Then let’s wait until they exist.
Scientists issue dire warning as iconic American city sinks into the sea: 'The speed is more than enough to put human life ... at risk'
–– NOLA's Mardi Gras floats literally will.
Twin Sisters Who Were Once Famous Entertainers Choose to End Their Lives on the Same Day
–– While singing Aufwiedershehen.
