Click images to enlarge
The Adventures of Tintin –– Wring Tintin.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo –– Swede revenge.
War Horse –– Saddle snores.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close –– & Amazingly Twee.
Albert Nobbs –– Has no knob.
We Bought a Zoo –– No, the farm.
The Darkest Hour –– Is right before the dung.
In the Land of Blood and Honey –– Jolie pit.
Pina –– Bausch & Lame.
Don 2 –– Indian scummer.

Mission: Impossible –– Ghost Protocol –– MI surprised?
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows –– Holmes a ways from Holmes.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked –– Chip and dull.
Carnage –– Feud for thought.
Satan Hates You –– I admire his taste.
Corman's World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel –– Roger and meh.
Cook County
–– Meth hysteria.
Addiction Incorporated –– Ciggy stardust.

Young Adult ––Younger dolt.
W.E. –– Wee.
The Sitter –– Add an H.
New Year's Eve –– Auld lang swine.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy –– Smiley entertaining.
We Need to Talk About Kevin
–– Son of a gun.
Knuckle –– Down.
I Melt With You –– Gooey.
Catch .44 –– Low caliber.
My Piece of the Pie –– Goose sliver.
Golf in the Kingdom –– Par for the coarse.

Shame –– Sex and the shitty.
Coriolanus –– Gory, all anus.
Sleeping Beauty –– This won’t wake her up.
Outrage –– Tokyo woes.
A Warrior’s Heart –– Wasn’t in it.
Answers to Nothing –– And no one.
The Lady –– Suu Kyi yucky.
Pastorela –– Flea’s Navidad.
Knuckle –– Heads.
Watching TV With the Red Chinese –– The Mickey Maoist Club.
I Am Singh –– Singh-a-ling.

The Muppets –– Rags to rags.
Hugo –– Because I won’t.
Arthur Christmas –– Noel child left behind.
A Dangerous Method –– Jung and the restless.
My Week with Marilyn –– Don't bother to knock.
The Artist –– Formerly known as Mince.
Rampart –– LAPDatrics.
The Legend of Pale Male –– Hawk and duff.
House of Pleasures –– Movie house of pains.
The Seminarian –– With the emphasis on the semen.
Romantics Anonymous –– No one wants to be recognized in this.

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 –– Breaking down.
The Descendants –– Hawaiian paunch.
Happy Feet Two –– Black and white and rot all over.
Tyrannosaur –– Emotional Rex.
Snowtown –– Flaky.
Rid of Me –– Would that we were.
Garbo: The Spy –– Garbo loading.
The Heir Apparent: Largo Winch –– Made me winch.
Another Happy Day –– In Hell.
The Lie –– Too faced.
Eames: The Architect and the Painter –– Dead Eames.
J. Edgar –– Hoover damned.
Immortals –– Endless.
Jack and Jill –– Jack 'n' off.
Melancholia –– Just sad.
London Boulevard –– Flush mob.
11-11-11 –– 0-0-0.
Elite Squad: The Enemy Within –– More like the enema within.
Into the Abyss –– Abysmal.
The Conquest –– Snark-cozy.
Barbershop Punk –– Net loss.
The Big Fix –– BP BP your ass!
Dog Sweat –– This Dog's wet.
Letters From the Big Man –– Sasquatch your language.
Tower Heist –– Tower of bobble.
A Very Harold & Kumar ChristmasHarold and mud.
Killing Bono –– U2 racket.
The Son of No One –– Except a bitch.
Young Goethe In Love –– You Goethe be kidding.
Courageous –– Sodden Baptists.
Stuck Between Stations –– Stunk between stations.
Five Star Day –– No star movie.
The Last Rites of Joe May –– May Day!
The Look –– Charlotte ruse.
The Other F Word –– Flaccid.

Puss in Boots –– Fur naught.
The Rum Diary –– Deppraved.
In Time –– I will forget the anguish of sitting through this.
Anonymous –– Breaking Bard.
And They’re Off… –– Like a rotting fish.
Like Crazy –– Beau jest.
The Double –– Or nothing.
13 –– Triskaidekaphobia-inducing.
Janie Jones –– Janie's got a gunk.
All’s Faire in Love –– Faire to middling.
Inkubus –– Stinkubus.
The Hammer –– The agony of deaf feat.

The Three Musketeers –– Sabre toot.
Paranormal Activity 3 –– Ghost to extremes.
Johnny English Reborn –– English lather.
Martha Marcy May Marlene –– M-barrassing.
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey –– Doesn't tickle me.
Oranges and Sunshine –– Scumkist.
Margin Call –– Schlock exchange.
Retreat –– From the theatre.
Revenge of the Electric Car –– Assault and battery.
Norman –– Abates.
The Mighty Macs –– Ay! Macs.
Le Havre –– Disgrace.
The Reunion –– Never comes together.
Snowmen –– With snowballs.

The Big Year –– Trill bits.
Footloose –– Cut loose…and let sink.
The Thing –– Amaboob.
Fireflies in the Garden –– A glow blow.
The Skin I Live In –– Flesh in the pan.
Chalet Girl –– Shilly Chalet.
Texas Killing Fields –– Rick Perry’s hunting camp.
The Woman –– A dame shame.
Father of Invention –– Patently absurd.
Bombay Beach –– Bomb, eh?

Real Steel –– Metal punch.
The Ides of March –– Garbage stump.
Intruders –– Trespass up.
Dirty Girl –– Skanky panky.
The Way –– No Way.
The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) –– Segmental case.
1911 –– Sun Yutz-Sent.
Toast –– It is.
Blackthorn –– In my side.
The Women on the 6th Floor –– Maid in France.
The Swell Season –– Swill-o'-the-wisp.
Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone –– Sticks in your throat.

50/50 –– Chemo sobby.
The Dead –– See skulls.
Dream House –– A tenancy towards depression.
What’s Your Number? –– 0.
Courageous –– Some nerve!
My Joy –– Is pissing on this.
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil –– Tuckered out.
Bunraku –– Bum ragout.
Take Shelter –– Assylum.
Margaret –– Choad.
American Teacher –– Teacher's pest.
Finding Joe –– Campbell’s soup.

Moneyball –– Beane balls.
Abduction –– Don't get carried away.
Killer Elite –– Hit parade.
Dolphin Tale –– Finny or die.
Machine Gun Preacher –– Pastor ammunition.
Puncture –– My balloon of joy.
Archie's Final Project –– Geek's havoc.
Pearl Jam Twenty –– Fruity preserves.
The Whale –– Whale away.
Weekend –– The beginning and middle aren't strong either.
Humans Vs. Zombies –– Undead performing.
Thunder Soul –– Soul drain.

Drive –– Chevy chase.
Straw Dogs –– Rape expectations.
I Don’t Know How She Does It –– Meth.
Restless –– Lag syndrome.
Stay Cool –– Drop dead.
3 –– Ménage à twaddle.
Jane’s Journey –– Goodall girl.
Happy, Happy –– A not, not joke.
The Mill and the Cross –– A Bruegel shower.
Silent Souls –– Quiet riot.
The Understudy –– Fill-in the blank.

Contagion –– Bug a boo!
Warrior –– Wearier.
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star –– A white dwarf.
Creature –– Featureless.
Burke & Hare –– Doing what comes snatcherly.
Shaolin –– Temple grindin'.
Main Street –– Dead end.
Kevin Hart: Laugh At My Pain –– Instead of your jokes?
Tanner Hall –– Bored in school.
The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 –– Bad Day At Black Crock.
Inside Out –– Reversible damage.
Where Soldiers Come From –– Troop grit.
Grave Encounters –– Ghost dog.
Brother's Justice –– Dax all, folks.
Autobiography of Nicolae Ceausescu –– A Romaniac.
Bobby Fischer Against the World –– The Fischer kink.

The Debt –– Tab hunter.
Apollo 18 –– Drudge crater.
Shark Night 3D –– Bait to the bone.
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy –– Of clichés.
Love Crime –– Indecent exposure…of film.
Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life –– Recording with that voice did take nerve.
Seven Days in Utopia –– Perfectly awful.
Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame –– Fiddle dee Dee!
Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles –– Street crud.
I’m Glad My Mother Is Alive –– Mater data.
Hellraiser: Revelations –– 1) This is the 8th sequel. 2) The 8th sequel!
That Girl in Yellow Boots –– Not starring Marlo Thomas.
Saving Grace B. Jones –– But not the embarrassment of being in this.

Our Idiot Brother –– Leery of relativity.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark –– Dim scum.
Colombiana –– Bogatard.
Brighton Rock –– Grim Greene.
Circumstance –– Beyond the director’s control.
Higher Ground –– Spirit gump.
The Family Tree –– Leaf it be.
Swinging With the Finkels –– Swap meat.
Redemption Road –– Pike's pique.
Shut Up Little Man! –– S’all bellow.
Chasing Madoff –– Weak end of Bernie’s.
Stripped Down –– Pole dunces.
Special Treatment –– Whore d’oeuvres.
Buzzkill –– Is it ever.

Conan The Barbarian –– Crom-Com.
Fright Night –– A scareless error.
One Day –– They’ll stop making movies like this.
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D –– 4D lashes.
Flypaper –– Sticky notes.
5 Days of War –– Georgia preach.
A Horrible Way to Die –– Or spend 85 mins.
Griff the Invisible –– Unfortunately, I could see him.
The Hedgehog –– Spineless.
Amigo –– No friend of mine.
Grave Encounters –– A dirt nap.
The Smell of Success –– To the manure born.
Programming the Nation? –– Adverts effect.

30 Minutes or Less – Of this might have been bearable.
The Help –– Less.
Final Destination 5 –– End gamy.
Summer Pasture –– Full of shit.
Glee: The 3D Concert Movie –– Stank Glee.
Senna –– Grade F1.
The Last Circus –– Insane clown pussy.
Littlerock –– Littlerot.
Bad Posture –– Urgghonomics.
Over Your Cities Grass Will Grow –– Weed be sorry.
Aarakshan –– Caste irony.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes –– The Tea Party gets its origin story.
The Change-Up –– Low and outside.
The Whistleblower –– That’s not a whistle.
Bellflower –– Flame retardant.
The Perfect Age of Rock ‘n’ Roll –– Band on the runt.
Magic Trip –– Bury Pranksters.
Cold Fish –– On ice and still rotten.
Mysteries of Lisbon –– Poor chuggle.
Gun Hill Road –– A Bronx stale.
Protektor –– Defender bender.
Habermann –– Kraut-pleaser.

Cowboys and Aliens –– Giddy yuck.
The Smurfs –– Blue cheese.
Crazy, Stupid, Love –– Crazy. Stupid. Didn't love.
Sleep Furiously –– I did fidget some as I napped in my seat.
Attack the Block –– Street whacker.
The Guard –– Guard-awful
The Devil’s Double –– Howdy Uday.
Spiderhole –– Move over, Saddam.
Good Neighbors –– Nay, bores.
The Future –– Looks dim.
Point Blank –– Right, there's no point.
The Interrupters –– Butt out.
True Adolescents –– Bumblecore.
Without Men –– Homo evictus.

Captain America –– Panty shield.
Friends With Benefits –– Perk grinds.
Life in a Day –– Cam a lot.
Another Earth –– Dupes.
A Little Help –– Hand job.
Sarah’s Key –– F Minor.
World on a Wire –– Fassblunder.
Fire in Babylon –– Babble on.
Singham –– Cops and rajahs.
Autoerotic –– Rub-a-dum-dum.
In the Company of Rohmer –– A Rohmer therapy.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 –– All Hallows heave.
Winnie the Pooh –– Hunny doo.
Tabloid –– On the rag.
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan –– That is definitely not me.
The Tree –– A trunkqualizer.
Gunless –– Spacy heater.
Salvation Boulevard –– Save $10.
Life, Above All –– Life bloat.
Lucky –– Not if you’re watching this.
Girlfriend –– You don’t go!
Phase 7 –– There's no saving Phase.
The Undefeated –– Palindrone.

Horrible Bosses –– Honcho notorious.
Zookeeper –– Ragin' cagin'.
The Ward –– Cleaver.
Ironclad –– Ironclod.
Project Nim –– Num.
The Ledge –– Jump!
Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest –– CrapQuest.
The Sleeping Beauty –– Sleepy. Hollow.
The Chameleon –– Loose change.
Fading of the Cries –– Of “Stop!”
Rapt –– Bum Rapt.
Romeo & Juliet in Yiddish –– Shtick-cross'd lovers.

Larry Crowne –– Crowne moldy.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon –– Bay at the Moon.
Monte Carlo –– Crap stable.
The Perfect Host –– For a parasite.
Terri –– Dissin' Terri.
Delhi Belly –– Curry hurry.
Love Etc. –– Et ill.
Aurora –– Boring all us.
Crime After Crime –– On the rerun.
First Dog –– I’ve seen others.



Best Picture Nominees:

Black Swan –– Swan flake.
The Fighter –– Jabber wonky.
Inception — Dream weeper.
The Kids Are All Right — Mommy queerest.
The King's Speech –– Stutter steps.
127 Hours –– Disarming.
The Social Network — ROFL ticket.
Toy Story 3 — Play-doo.
True Grit –– Grit and bear it.
Winter's Bone –– Osteopathetic.

Cars 2 –– Bumper crap.
Bad Teacher –– Ed grimly.
Conan O'Brien Can’t Stop –– Annoying me.
A Better Life –– Better than what?
Leap Year –– Anus horribilis.
The Best and the Brightest –– Sat this one out.
If a Tree Falls –– Why can't it be on this theatre?
General Orders No. 9 –– From column B.
Turtle: The Incredible Journey –– Shell schlock.
The Names of Love –– All 4-letter words.
17 Miracles –– Will not include Romney’s election.
Passione –– Napoli ever after.
A Love Affair of Sorts –– Out of sorts.
Raw Faith –– More Unitarian Universalist fanaticism!
Farmageddon –– Apocalypse cow.

Green Lantern –– None too bright.
Mr. Popper’s Penguins –– Tuxedo junk. Shun.
The Art of Getting By –– Mutt skills.
Kidnapped –– We all napped.
My Afternoons With Margueritte –– It takes a village idiot.
Buck –– Shot.
R –– Otten.
Page One: Inside The New York Times –– Grey Lady down.
Jig –– Is up.
Battle for Brooklyn –– The Heights of idiocy.
Angel of Evil –– Heel Milanese.

Super 8 –– The same old Spielberg.
Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer –– This will just ruin the first month.
TrollHunter –– Look on
Bride Flight –– Flee-brained.
The Trip –– Road to nowhere.
Road to Nowhere –– They made it.
Viva Riva –– The nil Riva.
One Lucky Elephant –– His part was cut.
Queen of the Sun –– Beegone.
Just Like Us –– I refuse to.
Reversion –– Reverse case scenario.

X-Men: First Class –– Mutant strain.
Submarine –– Baffles.
Beginners –– Poof Daddy.
Beautiful Boy –– Student bodies.
Mr. Nice –– Hash mark.
Love Wedding Marriage –– Tied up in knots.
Film Socialisme –– Left behind.
Yellowbrickroad –– Where Toto peed.
Small Town Murder Songs –– Humdumb.
The Last Mountain –– Hill of beans.
Empire of Silver –– Argent care.
Some Days Are Better Than Others –– Ditto movies.
Rejoice & Shout –– It’s over!
!Women Art Revolution –– !W.A.R. whores.

The Hangover Part II –– Hair of the dog that bit.
Kung Fu Panda 2 –– A Po excuse.
The Tree of Life –– Branch rickety.
Tuesday, After Christmas –– When the eggnog has soured.
The Abduction of Zack Butterfield –– Butterfield 8…shit.
Hello Lonesome –– Hello loathsome.
Puzzle –– Sodookie.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides –– Low Tides.
Midnight in Paris –– Clichés longue.
The Lion of Judah –– Judah mawkish be.
We Are the Night –– Total suckfest.
Bloodworth –– Krisp Kristofferson.
Louder Than a Bomb –– But still a bomb.
35 and Ticking –– Me off.
Hard Breakers –– Hard-to-takers.
Cost of a Soul –– Two-bit.

Bridesmaids –– A three-skanky affair.
Priest –– A clerical error.
Hesher –– Metalheadache.
Everything Must Go –– Ill-disposed.
Skateland –– Dead rinker.
True Legend –– Feud Manchu.
The First Grader –– Wrote this.
Go For It! –– With a knife.
The Big Bang –– Whimpersnapper.
How to Live Forever –– Eternal affairs.
The High Cost of Living –– Forever.
L’Amour Fou –– Heave Saint-Laurent.

Thor –– Thunder-achiever.
Something Borrowed –– Like gonorrhea.
Jumping the Broom –– Sickly sweep.
Caterpillar –– Crawls.
The Beaver –– I would chuck if I could chuck.
Last Night –– Low fidelity.
Hobo With a Shotgun –– Tramp steamer.
Daydream Nation –– I imagined I was watching a decent movie.
There Be Dragons –– There be draggin'.
An Invisible Sign –– No, you can see my middle finger.
The Silent House –– Even the ushers were snoozing.
Make Believe –– OK, thith wath thwell!
Passion Play –– Angel fruitcake.
The Vintner’s Luck –– Dying on the vine.
Harvest –– Weed ‘em and reap.

Fast Five –– Too lame blacktop.
Prom –– Miss.
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil –– Fart Hood.
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night –– One dog Night.
13 Assassins –– Overkill.
Cave of Forgotten Dreams –– Au bon paint.
Sympathy for Delicious –– Unpalatable.
We Go Way Back –– Not far enough.
Exporting Raymond –– Everybody loathes Raymond.
The Robber –– Hose.
That's What I Am –– A feature-length PSA.
Lebanon, Pa. –– Ceders of Lebanon.

Water for Elephants –– Dumbo droppings.
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family –– Perry pathetic.
African Cats –– Shot puss.
The Greatest Movie Ever Sold –– And now a turd from our sponsor.
Incendies –– Ash if.
Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen –– I was expecting John Travolta.
The Bang Bang Club –– Doesn’t click.
Stake Land –– Hammered.
Dumbstruck –– So shut up.
Deep Gold –– Panned.
Cougar Hunting –– Senior wenches.

The Conspirator –– A plotboiler.
Scream 4 –– Craven' lunatic.
Rio –– Rotten to the macaw.
Atlas Shrugged Part 1 –– Rand illusion.
Armadillo –– War is Helmand.
Footprints –– Missteps.
The Double Hour –– Two for wan.
A Screaming Man –– Chad low.
The Imperialists Are Still Alive! –– Émigré hound.
The First Beautiful Thing –– The bella of the beast.
Fly Away –– Autistic license.
Square Grouper: The Godfathers of Ganja –– The Florida keys.

Arthur –– Deadly more.
Your Highness –– Bud knight.
Hanna –– Holey Hanna.
Soul Surfer –– Eh souls.
Meek’s Cutoff –– At the ankles.
Born to be Wild –– Beastie buoys.
American: The Bill Hicks Story –– Crix nix Hix pix.
Henry’s Crime –– Is the director named Henry?
The Prince of Montpensier –– Frog march.
Ceremony –– Down rite awful.
Blank City –– Punk'duh.
To Die Like a Man –– Trannie sez.
Meet Monica Velour –– Porn yesterday.
Meeting Spencer –– Meating Spencer.

Hop –– Snore Easter.
Super –– Silly ass.
Source Code –– Cold Source.
Insidious –– Is hideous.
Rubber –– Dookie.
Trust –– Predator drone.
In a Better World –– This isn't released.
Wrecked –– 'em.
Queen to Play –– She was rooked.
Cat Run –– Pussy wallow.
The Four Times –– Quad injury.
The Elephant in the Living Room –– Trunk in the junk.
Circo –– Jerko.
Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead –– If only it had ended there.
Wretches & Jabberers –– An embarrassment of retches.
The Last Godfather –– O Seoul mio.

Sucker Punch –– Dumb Punch.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules –– Wuss up.
Peep Rules –– Peepee rules.
Illegal –– Oughta' be.
Miral –– Schnabeldygook.
Potiche –– Deneuve of some people!
White Irish Drinkers –– Dipso facto.
Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us? –– Buzz off.
My Perestroika –– Garbagev.
Honey –– Sticky.
I Travel Because I Have to, I Come Back Because I Love You –– I left because I hate it.
One Hundred Mornings –– The crap of dawn.

Paul –– Pall.
Limitless –– One duh drug.
The Lincoln Lawyer –– Shysterical.
Win Win –– Whine whine.
Cracks –– Not wise ones.
Winter in Wartime –– WW too-too.
Desert Flower –– A genital reminder.
The Music Never Stopped –– He had a soundtrack mind.
Nostalgia for the Light –– Completely in the dark.
The Butcher, The Chef and the Swordsman –– Attention, choppers.
I Am –– Bored.
0s & 1s –– But mostly 0s.

Mars Needs Moms –– They offer womb and board.
Red Riding Hood ––Dunces with wolves.
Battle: Los Angeles –– Invasion of the hottie snatchers.
Jane Eyre –– Brontësaurus.
Black Death –– Boobonic plague.
Kill the Irishman –– Green skeeves.
Elektra Luxx –– Laxx.
Certified Copy –– Repro man.
Monogamy –– Monotony.
The Desert of Forbidden Art –– Sand paintings.
Harvest –– A piece of crop.

Rango –– Coma chameleon.
The Adjustment Bureau –– Are they chiropractors?
Beastly –– The beast is yet to cum.
Take Me Home Tonight –– '88 shit.
I Saw the Devil –– Kissing Santa Claus.
Uncle Boonme Who Can Recall His Past Lives –– And they bore even him.
HappyThankYouMorePlease –– SadSorryLessI'mBeggingYou.
Bereavement –– Lamentable.
Old Cats –– You gato be kidding.
Sons of Perdition –– Damned silly.
Trick of the Witch –– Hex a gone.

Drive Angry –– Rage rover.
Hall Pass –– Cheat sheet.
Of Gods and Men –– Do wha deity?
Heartbeats –– Skip.
The Grace Card –– Grace slick.
Everything Strange and New –– Nu?
A Good Man –– Is hard to find.
The Over the Hill Band –– Oldies but gooeys.

Unknown –– I wish.
I Am Number Four –– You are Number Two.
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son –– Gramma schooled.
Vanishing on 7th Street –– The Gone Show.
Even the Rain –– Can't wash away this mess.
Zero Bridge –– Kashmir sweater.
We Are What We Are –– Which is boring.
I Am –– You ain't.
Brotherhood –– Purple hazing.
The Chaperone –– Dated.
Putty Hill –– Silly Putty.
The Last Lions –– Roar sewage.

Gnomeo & Juliet –– Gnome mas!
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never –– Except in this case.
Just Go With It –– Just go on it.
The Eagle –– Has landed. With a thud.
Cedar Rapids –– Iowa an apology.
Poetry –– Slam.
Carancho –– Ambulance chaser shot.
In Her Skin –– Teeny whopper.
Carbon Nation –– Fizzy.
Vidal Sassoon: The Movie –– If you don’t look good, he doesn’t look good. You must look like shit.
Orgasm, Inc. –– Chick clit.
Certifiably Jonathan –– Winters of our discontent.

The Roommate –– Dorm and dumber.
Sanctum –– Skankdom.
Waiting for Forever –– That's what it feels like.
The Other Woman –– She crabs.
Frankie & Alice –– Frankie valley.
Cold Weather–– Brrrlesque.
Into Eternity –– A nuclear waste.
Dressed –– To nill.
Home –– Run!
The Troubadours –– Ballad drear.

The Rite –– Stuff.
The Mechanic –– Grease monkey.
From Prada to Nada –– I wouldn't be Prada this.
Ip Man 2: Legend of the Grandmaster –– Works like Ipecac.
Kaboom –– Kablooey.
Lemmy –– Outta here.
Strongman –– Power balls.
When We Leave –– Awful Wiedersehen.
Scream of the Banshee –– Wail watch.
Seconds Apart –– Sloppy Seconds.

No Strings Attached –– Bonk mates.
The Way Back –– Trudger hunt.
The Company Men –– Hire end.
Mumbai Diaries –– India inked.
Johnny Mad Dog –– Distemper tantrums.
The Housemaid –– Dust might.
The Woodmans –– Choppy.
Applause –– Is unlikely.
Zenith –– Nadir.
Gabi on the Roof in July –– Diddler on the roof.

The Green Hornet –– Buzzworthless.
The Dilemma –– De lemon.
Every Day –– Routine.
The Heart Specialist –– Cardiyuks arrest.
Burning Palms –– From jerking off.
Ong Bak 3 –– Ong loose.
A Somewhat Gentle Man –– A somewhat lousy film.
Repo Chick –– You can have her.
Petition –– Lacks appeal.
Down For Life –– Or at least for the duration of this.
Plastic Planet –– Synthplop.

Season of the Witch –– Snored and sorcery.
The Time That Remains –– As I stare at my wristwatch.
If I Want to Whistle, I Whistle –– Blows.
No One Killed Jessica –– Or saw this movie.
Phil Ochs: There But For Fortune –– For old folkies.
Americatown –– U.S.-hole.

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E. Basil St. Blaise