CINEMA 2015

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The Hateful Eight –– Octogoners.
The Revenant –– Off the beaten trek.
Joy –– Miracle mope.
Anomalisa –– Puppety love.
Other People’s Children –– Kid vicious.
TransFatty Lives ––Transfatty acid.
Hillsong: Let Hope Rise –– Riseible.
Concussion –– Head games.
45 Years –– Union specific.
Where to Invade Next –– Moore of the same.
Point Break –– Surf’s no purpose.
Daddy’s Home –– Father blows best.
Yellow Day –– Jaune of arch.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens –– Force square.
Sisters –– Relative sleaze.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip –– Cow Chip.
Son of Saul –– Saul for naught.
He Never Died –– Mouth-breather.
The Emperor’s New Clothes –– Threads bare.
Noma: My Perfect Storm –– Scandi corn.
Anguish –– Painful.
Dreams Rewired –– Plug-ugly.
Mojin - The Lost Legend –– Mojin sickness.
The Genital Warriors –– F Troop.
In the Heart of the Sea –– Whaleboner.
The Big Short –– At a loss.
Body –– Shaming.
Don Verdean –– Bent Verdean.
The Girl in the Book –– Cover one’s ass.
Boy and the World –– Down Boy.
Bleeding Heart –– Doxy moron.
The Jesus Freak –– Lordy!
Close Range –– Fire at swill.
Dixieland –– Banned.
The Tainted Veil –– Hijab placement.
American Hero –– Lo-cal Hero.
Campo de Jogo –– Notional futebol league.
Macbeth –– Dread Scot.
The Lady in the Van –– Dirty harridan.
Youth –– Anasia.
Chi-Raq –– Chi-ite.
A Royal Night Out –– Princess cruises.
Krampus –– Claustrophobic.
Hitchcock/Truffaut –– Bored of directors.
MI-5 –– Spy crust.
Life –– Dean wormer.
The Letters –– Smother Teresa.
Christmas Eve –– Before warned.
The Girl King –– Swede piece.
My Friend Victoria –– Amie brat.
Fat –– Chance.
River of Fundament –– Fun demented.
The Messenger –– Kill The Messenger.
Every Thing Will Be Fine –– A Fine whine.
Uncle Nick –– Nix.
Christmas, Again –– Season's grievings.
The Wannabe –– Never is.
Creed –– Rocky blah blower.
The Good Dinosaur –– Dino mite.
Victor Frankenstein –– Loser Frankenstein.
The Danish Girl –– Danish twist.
Janis: Little Girl Blue –– Joplin misery.
Killing Them Safely –– Tased and confused.
Iraqi Odyssey –– Iraqi relationships.
Stink! –– Smell be.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 –– Mocking J-Law.
The Night Before –– Eve ardent.
Legend –– The latest Krays.
Secret in Their Eyes –– Blink and you won't miss it.
Carol –– Alt.
Mustang –– Wild Turkey.
Criminal Activities –– Pity larceny.
Flutter –– Nutter.
Democrats –– Chicken lib'ral.
Censored Voices –– Let bleeping dogs lie.
Altered Minds –– Mind, the crap.
#Horror –– Tweet thins.
The Summer of Sangaile –– Sangaile white females.
Kingdom of Shadows –– Pan umbra.
I Am Thor –– God of blunder.
Very Semi-Serious –– *Gag!* cartoons.
Mediterranea –– Refugeez.
Love the Coopers –– Christmas hams.
The 33 –– And a turd.
By the Sea –– Jolie pity.
Shelter –– Streets weeper.
Heist –– Heavy lifting.
Man Up –– His own ass.
Kilo Two Bravo –– Mind sweeper.
My All-American –– Offensive end.
James White –– Pale male.
Ghosts in the Shell: The New Movie –– Shell shucked.
Steve McQueen: The Man & Le Mans –– Race balls.
Ingrid Bergman In Her Own Words –– Iced Bergman.
Casa Grande –– Casa blanker.
Song of Lahore –– Z-Pak.
Condemned –– Damned right.
Rock in the Red Zone –– Jammer Jews.
Spectre –– AutoBond.
The Peanuts Movie –– Brown nos.
Spotlight –– Fathers goose.
Brooklyn –– Ex-paddy.
Trumbo –– Shrimp.
Miss You Already –– Gal pales.
The Hallow –– Hallow threat.
Jackson Heights –– Queens of the damned.
The Outskirts –– Nerds, a grudge.
The Notorious Mr. Bout –– Bout time.
Barista –– A whole latte nothin’.
What Our Fathers Did: A Nazi Legacy –– Fascist knows best.
Uncanny –– Robot plant.
Lost in the Sun –– Glaring mistake.
Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict –– Collectors: fie!
Friends and Romans –– Julius seizure.
Brothers of War –– Old battle acts.
Of Men and War –– Nam nuts.
Wrecker –– Dumb truck.
Burnt –– Sooey chef.
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse –– Scout willies.
Our Brand is Crisis –– All politics is loco.
The Wonders –– Bee geez.
Love –– All that jizz.
Carter High –– Somebody must’ve been.
Sex, Death and Bowling –– Lane excuses.
The Price We Pay –– That’s the ticket.
Freaks of Nature –– On freek?
Hard Labor –– Well, it wasn’t easy watching this.
The Armor of Light –– Armor dildo.
Red Herring –– Pickled.
Rock the Kasbah –– Pashtun project.
The Last Witch Hunter –– Spell check.
Suffragette –– Voter fraud.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension –– Haunt toad.
Jem and the Holograms –– Semi-precious Jem.
I Smile Back –– Low beam.
Nasty Baby –– Nasty, baby.
Bone Tomahawk –– Chop screwy.
Attack on Titan Part 2 –– Titan ick.
Difret –– Strokes for different folks.
Back in Time –– Muddy McFly.
Tokyo Tribe –– Gang greed.
Top Spin –– Rally crap.
Extraordinary Tales –– Poe diddley.
Heart of a Dog –– Brains, too.
India’s Daughter –– Indian rapee.
Asthma –– Wheezy.
The Diplomat –– Parley view.
Crumbs –– Made this.
Clinger –– Let it go.
Bridge of Spies –– Classified sad.
Goosebumps –– Freakin’ Stine.
Crimson Peak –– Piker’s Peak.
Room –– Bah!
Beasts of No Nation –– Kiddie hawk.
Woodlawn –– Hail Mary. Pass.
Meadowland –– Grassy null.
Truth –– Rather. Not!
Experimenter –– Trial in error.
Watchers of the Sky –– Wipeout.
Tales of Halloween –– Hollow weenies.
All Things Must Pass –– Like a kidney stone.
The Russian Woodpecker –- A pecker would.
Tab Hunter Confidential –– Alt Tab.
A Ballerina’s Tale –– Off pointe.
The Diabolical –– The satanic worses.
Momentum –– Stalls.
Wind Walkers –– Shoes, the breeze.
Bastard –– Who’s your Daddy?
Hot Water –- Tepid.
Lumberjack Man –– Don’t axe.
Mi America –– Oh mi!
Steve Jobs –– Jobs search.
Pan –– The Peter Principle.
Knock Knock –– No one’s there.
(T)ERROR –– (T) minus.
Big Stone Gap –– In the plot.
Victoria –– Falls.
Trash –– Know thyself.
The Final Girls –– Last-bitch effort.
The Forbidden Room –– Room surface.
Prime Ministers: Soldiers and Peacemakers –– Begin, the Rabin.
Gravy –– Lumpy.
Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance –– Chop cop.
All American Bikini Car Wash –– Scrubby.
Salut d’Amour –– With the middle finger.
Yakuza Apocalypse: The Great War of the Underworld –– Ya kooky.
A Faster Horse –– Mustang silly.
In My Father’s House –– House shitting.

The Martian –– Maroon jive.
The Walk –– Petit farce.
Freeheld –– Ail and farewell.
Labyrinth of Lies –– Come what maze.
He Named Me Malala ––– Heroine chic.
Partisan –– Communal bash.
Shanghai –– China dull.
Addicted to Fresno –– Off the hooked.
This Is Happening –– Sad to say.
A Christmas Horror Story –– Jack Frost ripping at your nose.
Movement and Location –– Brooklyn lagger.
Me You and Five Bucks –– Mucky fin.
Taxi –– Hail no!
Eating Happiness –– Tastes like chicken.
María Montez: La Película –– Montez humor’s revenge.
The Intern –– Aide is enough.
Hotel Transylvania 2 –– Tomb service.
The Green Inferno –– Cannibalshit.
99 Homes –– Eviction no dice.
Ashby –– Ass be.
Finders Keepers –– Keepers weepers.
Wildlike –– Terrain wreck.
The Reflektor Tapes –– Puny Arcade.
Stonewall –– Queer No. 1!
The Keeping Room –– Ick-o chamber.
Mississippi Grind –– All bets are off.
Mission to Lars –– Lars riot.
Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead –– Lampoon tang.
Incompresa –– No capische.
Pay the Ghost –– In dead presidents.
Roger Waters The Wall –– By peeing on it.
Black Mass –– Whitey fraud.
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials –– Burnt dumber.
Sicario –– A la cartel.
Everest –– Nepal slip.
Captive –– Lemme outta here.
The Captive –– Order in the caught.
Cooties –– Scabies, it’s you!
Peace Officer –– Police staid.
Pawn Sacrifice –– Chess record.
The New Girlfriend –– Squeeze toyed.
Gotti: Three Generations –– Heir guns.
About Ray –– Trans late.
The Cut –– Should’ve been.
Being Canadian –– Drear, eh?
Hellions –– Demon scene.
Montana –– Pan ‘er Montana.
Some Kind of Hate –– Am I feeling.
Eden –– Rot.
The Martial Arts Kid –– Deportment of defense.
The Visit –– Pop Pop fizzle fizzle.
The Perfect Guy –– Too good to beat u.
Goodnight Mommy –– Mom genes.
A Brilliant Young Mind –– Take a brain check.
Sleeping With Other People –– In the same theater.
90 Minutes in Heaven –– Plus another 31 in Hell.
Time Out of Mind –– Director, too.
Breathe –– Artificial respiration.
Coming Home –– Greet is good.
12 Rounds 3: Lockdown –– Give it arrest.
Welcome to Leith –– Whiteness protection program.
Wolf Totem –– Insanity claws.
Listening –– Neither hear nor there.
How to Change the World –– Green piece.
The Challenger –– Iron lunk.
The Beauty Inside –– Within you without me.
A Walk In the Woods –– Stupid human treks.
The Transporter Refueled –– Doesn’t deliver.
Before We Go –– To the can.
Creep –– Drag.
Dragon Blade –– Churly Chan.
Blind –– Seeing oy dog.
Break Point –– Ad out.
Dirty Weekend –– Bad air days.
Steve Jobs: Man in the Machine –– Knows Jobs.
Elle L’adore –– El odor.
The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution –– Afroprop.
Contracted: Phase II –– Alienation of infection.
The Golden Dream –– Pee brains.
A Sinner in Mecca –– Hajjpodge.
Life in a Walk –– At a crawl.
A Reason –– Lost cause.
A Perfect Chord –– Be flat.
Heroes of Dirt –– Bike cultural.
War Pigs –– Grunts.
No Escape –– Craptrap.
We Are Your Friends –– Who needs enemies?
Memories of the Sword –– Mind shaft.
War Room –– Medium prayer.
Z for Zachariah –– And Zzzzz.
Turbo Kid –– In the low 80s.
When Animals Dream –– It's of this dog.
Queen of Earth –– Her Soil Majesty.
7 Chinese Brothers –– Fortune kooky.
Zipper –– Zip it.
The Second Mother –– Nanny goat.
Pod –– Cast. In trash.
Drown –– Don't hold your breath.
Unsullied –– A dirty shame.
My Voice, My Life –– Song dynasty.
American Ultra –– Shit or Get Off the Pot.
Hitman: Agent 47 –– Special offer.
Sinister 2 –– 2 silly.
After Words –– Librarian of congress.
Grandma –– Dozes.
Digging for Fire –– Exhuming beings.
Learning to Drive –– Reverse psychology.
Some Kind of Beautiful –– Beautiful reamer.
Being Evel –– The Evel dead.
The Curse of Downers Grove –– Hex fiends.
Mateo –– Mariachi banned.
Slow Learners –– Rom calm.
Blood Cells –– Irony poor.
6 Years –– Should be director’s minimum sentence.
The Lost Key –– Locks and a schmear.
Quay –– Pasa?
Guidance –– Lacking.
Mend –– Broken.
Station to Station –– Trainspotty.
Shanghai –– Stock exchanges.
The Man From U.N.C.L.E. –– Cry, U.N.C.L.E.
Straight Outta Compton –– Film n.w.a.
Underdogs –– You find this.
She’s Funny That Way –– No way.
Mistress America –– Regretter Gerwig.
Return to Sender –– Immediately!
People Places Things –– Dad frank act.
Tom at the Farm –– Tom thump.
Meru –– Climb disease.
Exeter –– Grad slam.
Fort Tilden –– Artificial hip.
Walt Before Mickey –– Cel theory.
Amnesiac –– Mnemonic plague.
Enchanted Kingdom 3D –– The crawl of Nature.
Air –– Ball.
Big Sky
–– A-bore-aphobia.
Final Girl
–– Lass hurrah.
The Boy –– Oh, Boy!
Once I Was a Beehive –– Forced buzzing.
Prince –– Of the shitty.
Fantastic Four –– Four on the floor.
The Gift –– Left by Spot.
Ricki and the Flash –– Ricki-tick.
The Diary of a Teenage Girl –– 16 scandals.
Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection ‘F’ –– ‘F’ dat.
Shaun the Sheep –– Should be shorn.
Dark Places –– Yeah, turn off the projector.
Call Me Lucky –– I missed this.
Cop Car –– Screen siren.
Appetites –– In bad taste.
The Cocksure Lads Movie –– Cocks, sure.
The Falling –– Flat.
The Runner –– On empty.
Sneakerheadz –– Lacey bastards.
God Bless the Child –– Foul play.
Two Step –– Ass-tech Two Step.
Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet –– And loss.
Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation –– Wrecking Cruise.
Vacation –– Ditz takes a holiday.
The End of the Tour –– Tour bust.
Listen to Me Marlon –– Brando X.
A LEGO Brickumentary –– Thick as a brick.
Extinction –– So over.
Best of Enemies –– Vidal statistics.
That Sugar Film –– Empty calories.
Northmen: A Viking Saga –– Fjord alert.
I Am Chris Farley –– Chris folly.
Jenny’s Wedding –– Jenny from the blecch.
The Kindergarten Teacher –– On the tyke.
Paulo Coelho’s Best Story –– Isn't good enough.
Containment –– Of my enthusiasm.
Counting –– Sheep.
Pixels –– Game men's health crisis.
Southpaw –– Staggering.
Paper Towns –– Teen and sympathy.
Unexpected –– Belly whopper.
Smosh: The Movie –– Smosh pit.
The Chosen –– Not by me.
Five Star –– Gang blank.
10 Cent Pistol –– Pop ay!
The Vatican Tapes –– Holy gruel.
Jack Strong –– When he raise arm.
American Heist –– Heist and lows.
Phoenix –– Ash hole.
The Outrageous Sophie Tucker –– Tuckered out.
Capital C –– As in Crap.
Horse Money –– Whore's money.
Samba ––Somber.
Big Significant Things –– Minor disaster.
Frank the Bastard –– Frank zapper.
Lucky Stiff –– You’ll never see this!
The Young Kieslowski –– Pole dunce.
Ant-Man –– A damn ant.
Trainwreck –– Starring aimless humor.
Mr. Holmes –– Old Holmes weak.
Irrational Man –– Woody? Afraid so.
The Stanford Prison Experiment –– Lab brats.
The Look of Silence ––
Shh
ut-eye.
Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser –– Soiled.
Caffeinated –– Joe dirt.
Famous Nathan –– Frank.
A Hard Day –– Hard Day har har.
Lila & Eve –– Lila-livered.
Alleluia –– It's over!
Court –– Jester.
Ardor –– Odder.
Jellyfish Eyes –– Suishy-squashy.
Steak (R)evolution –– Steak ta-ta!

Minions –– A barrel of flunkies.
Self/less –– More of less.
The Gallows –– Hang it all!
What We Did on Our Holiday –– Jaunt disease.
Boulevard –– A thorough fair.
Tangerine –– Keen peel.
Stations of the Cross –– Nail biter.
Do I Sound Gay –– Lisp price.
Strangerland –– Down blunder.
10,000 Km –– Long-distance bummer.
Nowitzki: The Perfect Shot –– Dork Nowitzki.
The Suicide Theory –– Self-destructs.
Meet Me in Montenegro –– Balkin' crisis.
SlingShot –– Distiller and mirror.
Mad Women –– Girl crazy.
Almosting It –– Notatalls it.
B-Side –– Itself.
Tap World –– Toe jams.


Magic Mike XXL –– Strip stakes.
Terminator Genisys –– Mech and cheese.
Faith of Our Fathers –– Nam commital.
Cartel Land –– Narc nyuk nyuk.
Amy –– Whinehouse.
Jimmy’s Hall
–– Irish missed.
Robot Overlords –– The last wound up.
Zarafa –– Giraffe dodgers.
Stray Dog –– Rabid run.
Jackie & Ryan –– Insignificant others.
Antboy: Revenge of the Red Fury –– Up the anty.
A Poem is a Naked Person –– Russell brand.
Mala Mala –– Male fraud.
Closer to God –– Gene poo.

TOP

OSCARFACE 2015

Best Picture Nominees:

American Sniper –– Turkey shoots.
Birdman
–– Avian fluke.
Boyhood
–– Qué-12?
The Grand Budapest Hotel
–– Lobby cards.
The Imitation Game
–– Genius bah!
Selma
–– King done come.
The Theory of Everything
–– Hawking and talking.
Whiplash
–– Humdrums.
Ted 2 -–– Stuffed and nonsense.
Max –– Dog star.
Big Game –– Hunt’s catch-up.
Escobar: Paradise Lost –– Narco-leptic.
A Little Chaos –– Nobody Chaos.
Batkid Begins –– To cloy.
The Little Death –– Le petit mortification.
Into the Grizzly Maze –– Bear grills.
Felt –– Bad.
7 Minutes –– Min. wacks.
Advantageous –– To no one.
Fresh Dressed –– Harried styles.
A Borrowed Identity –– Alias oop.
The Midnight Swim –– Dips.
A Murder in the Park –– Parks and wreck.
The Strongest Man –– The weakest lunk.
Glass Chin –– TKO rose.
Runoff –– Down drain.
Reversal –– Switch-a-rue.
Inside Out –– Emotional wreck.
Dope –– Yeah, you, buying the ticket.
Infinitely Polar Bear –– Polar Bear plunges.
The Overnight –– Prime cot.
Manglehorn –– Ill Pacino.
Eden –– Eden rot.
The Face of an Angel –– Amanda knocks.
Burying the Ex –– Ex compost mentis.
Gabriel –– Burn.
HIppocrates: Diary of a French Doctor –– Hippocratic oaf.
The Wanted 18 –– Bovine intervention.
Pernicious –– Anemia.
Rubble Kings –– Barmy Rubble.
Phantom Halo –– Corona light.
Anarchy Parlor –– Monster's ink.
Jurassic World –– Train Rex.
Madame Bovary –– Suicide squeeze.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl –– Buss terminal.
The Wolfpack –– Lupey.
The Tribe –– The tripe.
Set Fire to the Stars –– And throw the director on the pile.
The Yes Men Are Revolting –– The whole cast is.
Live From New York! –– Forlorn Michaels.
Debug –– Up de ass.
I Am Here –– Thanks for the warning.
Every Last Child –– Talibanned vaccine.
Vendetta –– Avenge we seen enough?
L.A. Slasher –– Gash crisis.
Chagall-Malevich –– Marc down.
The 11th Hour –– Ticky-tacky.
Spy –– Cherry spy.
Entourage –– Past its dude date.
Love & Mercy –– Wilson flips.
Testament of Youth –– Lost will and Testament.
Insidious: Chapter 3 –– Psychic squealer.
A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence –– Then shat on this.
Hungry Hearts –– Cardio fatness.
Charlie’s Country –– Australian, back out.
The Nightmare –– A snooze.
Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films –– Schlocksmiths.
Freedom –– Fries.
Police Story: Lockdown –– Empty container.
Pixies –– Diet sprites.
Wild Horses –– Couldn't drag me to this.
Alleluia –– It’s over!
United Passions –– FIFA and dumb corps.
An Open Secret –– Stupid pedo tricks.
Dawn Patrol –– Early and offin’.
Patch Town –– Toys R wuss.
Backtrack –– Point of no return.
San Andreas –– Faulty.
Aloha –– Hello? Goodbye!
Survivor –– Keeps on ticking…me off.
Barely Lethal –– Tiny danger.
Walking on Sunshine –– Junkbox musical.
Heaven Knows What –– This is.
Results –– Gym jones.
Gemma Bovary –– Gust of Flaubert.
To Dors Nicole –– Petty loafer.
Unfreedom –– Chained reaction.
I Believe in Unicorns – And the talent of this director.
The True Cost –– Including popcorn and a soda?
Sunset Edge –– Suggestion: Cutting Edge.
Tomorrowland –– Predictable.
Poltergeist –– Just ghost to show.
When Marnie Was Here –– Anime of the people.
Chocolate City –– Brown peeper packages.
Aloft –– Overhead wrack.
The Human Centipede II –– Segmental.
Sunshine Superman –– Ace of BASE.
Güeros –– Mexican jumping beings.
Love at First Fight –– Tiff file.
(Dis)honesty: The Truth –– Fibber optics.
Seeds of Time –– Sow what?
The Wanted 18 –– Cows hide.
The Chronicles of Evil –– Include production of this.
The Farewell Party –– Doesn't fair well.
Mad Max: Fury Road –– Diesel zapper.
Pitch Perfect 2 –– Ick capella.
Good Kill –– Drones town massacre.
Slow West –– Whoa is me.
I’ll See You in My Dreams –– After I nod off watching this.
Every Secret Thing –– The young and the ruthless.
Time Lapse –– Lapse a luxury.
Where Hope Grows –– Moss.
Two Shots Fired –– Blanks pace.
The Connection –– The fringe Connection.
Animals –– Fur cryin' out loud.
Dark Star: HR Giger’s World –– Giger counter.
Our Man in Teheran –– Iran weasley.
The Film Critic –– Plots and pans.
In the Name of My Daughter –– Fille good movie.
Pound of Flesh –– Van Damme silly.
Echoes of War –– Boom shock-alotta.
Almost Married –– Linked din.
Absolution –– Unforgivable.
Hot Pursuit –– Trailer trash.
Maggie –– Maggoty.
Playing It Cool –– Over the chill.
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared –– A goner.
Saint Laurent –– Yves of destruction.
I Am Big Bird –– Big, yellow, taxing.
The D Train –– Reunion square.
Spike Island –– Off its rockers.
Skin Trade –– Dullph Lundgren.
5 Flights Up –– Vacant stairs.
The Seven Five –– Police scammer.
Noble –– Gas.
1001 Grams –– Kilo instinct.
Bravetown –– Gutless.
Sister Code –– Sisters are doin shit for themselves.
Fishing Naked –– Cut bait.
Avengers: Age of Ultron –– Marvel slab.
Far From the Madding Crowd –– Hardy har har.
Welcome to Me –– Ego-terrorism.
Hyena –– Laughing ass.
Ride –– Stuff.
Gerontophilia –– Ageist of man.
Iris –– Merde doc.
Days of Grace –– Notional futbol league.
Cas & Dylan –– Who Cas?
Far From Men –– And perfect.
Maya The Bee Movie –– Bumbles.
Marie’s Story –– Daft, dumb and blind.
Réalité –– Bîtes.
Any Day –– You can see something better.
Soul Boys of the Western World –– Spandau Ballet slipper.
Comedy Dynamics Presents: Bill Hicks –– Hicks nix dix pix.
Private Number –– Unlist it.
Preggoland –– Baby bums.
The Water Diviner –– Dowses off.
The Age of Adaline –– Sour Adaline.
Little Boy –– Lost.
Adult Beginners –– False start.
Blackbird –– Rah-rah aves.
Kung Fu Jungle –– Kicking and scheming.
The Forger –– Like a three-dollar bill.
After the Ball –– We smoke.
Just Before I Go –– I undo my fly.
14 Days –– Too week.
Brotherly Love –– Philly fanatic.
See You in Valhalla –– We'll mead again.
Anita B. –– B.-atch.
Emptying the Skies –– Raining champ.
Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten: Cambodia’s Lost Rock and Roll –– Laosy.
Road to Juarez –– Yippee calle!
Misery Loves Comedy –– And isn't laughing.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 –– Tub of Blart.
True Story –– Just lies there.
Unfriended –– Face booked.
Child 44 –– Russia to judgment.
Monkey Kingdom –– Happy scampers.
Monsters: Dark Continent –– War and beast.
Tangerines –– Not apeeling.
Alex of Venice –– Alex smack.
The Dead Lands –– Or Detroit.
The Road Within –– Lame closure.
Beyond the Reach –– Shite of the hunter.
The Human Experiment –– Chem blab.
The Squeeze –– Golf coarse.
1915 –– Turkish delete.
Love Thy Nature –– Pastoral sympathy.
Antarctic Edge: 70 South –– Glacial.
The Longest Ride –– Caca-and-bull story.
Ex Machina –– A bot for sin.
Kill Me Three Times –– Thrice ‘im.
Clouds of Sils Maria –– Swiss mess.
Black Souls –– Wet mob.
Freetown –– Missionary impossible.
Desert Dancer –– Iran pall.
Lost River –– Ebon flow.
Dior and I –– Christian mingle.
Broken Horses –– Saddle snores.
The Sisterhood of Night –– Shudder stock.
Dial a Prayer –– Heaven call wait.
Infernal –– Hell no.
About Elly –– Elly blah-blah.
Beyond the Mask –– Concealing fans.

Furious 7 –– Car and drivel.
Woman in Gold –– Klimt biscuit.
The Culling
–– For the cullible.
To Write Love on Her Arms –– Tats all she wrote.
Ned Rifle –– Half-cocked.
Last Knights –– Joust for the hell of it.
5 to 7 –– Odds you’ll like this.
Seeds of Time –– Pips squeak.
Cut Bank –– Wuss Fargo.
Effie Gray –– Effied up.
The Dickumentary –– Dick doc.
W.M.D. –– Mess destruction.
Boychoir –– Vocal fries.
The Girl Is in Trouble –– Like the movie.
Lambert & Stamp –– The Who's who.
Electric Slide –– In the low 80s.
The Living –– Dead.
That Guy Dick Miller –– Miller low life.
Devil’s Backbone, Texas –– Spine-tinkling.


Get Hard –– Soft poor corn.
Home –– Run!
While We’re Young –– Nihil Young.
Serena –– Serenal failure.
The Riot Club –– Amok raker.
White God –– Flap dogs.
Welcome to New York –– Straus con.
The Kidnapping of Michel Houllebecq –– Ain’t no Houellebecq, girl.
A Girl Like Her –– Woolly bully.
52 Tuesdays –– Booby Tuesday.
Man from Reno –– Requires Renovation.
Wolf at the Door –– Huffs and puffs.
Nightlight –– None too bright.
The Barber –– Shave it for later.
My Italian Secret: The Forgotten Heroes –– Goombah, yah. My lord!
Ebola Zombies –– Sick to death.
The Gunman –– Cross Penn.
Insurgent –– Uprise and fall.
Accidental Love –– A screw-up.
Danny Collins –– Fraught Collins.
Do You Believe –– Cred alert.
Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter –– Bury the lead.
Tracers –– Not of logic.
Spring –– Break.
Zombeavers –– Ignaw.
Backcountry –– Hiker care less.
Amour Fou –– Fou fighters.
Jauja –– Not on my mind.
She’s Lost Control –– Of her bowels.
Hunting Elephants ––The tusk at hand.
Cupcakes –– Mesugar.
Can’t Stand Losing You –– Police bust.
Growing Up and Other Lies –– Aging flu.
Ghoul –– Corpus crispy.
CInderella –– EllaOL.
The Cobbler –– Heel thyself.
Run All Night –– On the toilet.
It Follows –– Sh_ _.
Home Sweet Hell –– Heiglian logic.
Cymbeline –– Symbol lean.
Champs –– Glove triangle.
Of Horses and Men –– Equine and cheese.
The Wrecking Crew –– Hell-razers.
Eva –– Brawny.
Seymour: An Introduction –– I’d like to see less.
Muck –– True grime.
3 Hearts –– Triangle short waste.
Treading Water –– I had it up to here.
Air –– Apparent.
Walter –– Mutty.
It’s Hard Being Loved by Jerks –– Jerks only tolerate this.
Bite Size –– Chew-chew train.
Allure –– Loss of attraction.
Chappie –– AI-AI-Ohhh!
Unfinished Business –– Not quite ready to flush.
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel –– Jaipuractivity.
These Final Hours –– Ticked off.
Merchants of Doubt –– Spinstarhood.
Road Hard –– Stand-up and jeer.
An Honest Liar –– Eyin' Randi.
Bad Asses –– Bad everything.
Buzzard –– Has a bone to pick.
Barbie in Power Princess –– Doll and um…
Like Sunday, Like Rain –– Damped if you do.
Kidnapping Mr. Heineken –– Beer haul.
Two Men in Town –– Parolee poly.
X/Y –– Grade Z.
Avenged –– A toot for a tooth.
October Gale –– WIndy shitty.
Straight Outta Tompkins –– LES than zero.
A Year in Champagne –– Put a cork in it.
Focus –– Dash scam.
The Lazarus Effect –– Razing the dead.
’71 –– Not worth the Troubles.
Everly –– Hubba hubba Hayak.
Wild Canaries –– Cheepers creepers.
A La Mala –– Like Malaria.
Ejecta –– The button to push.
Maps to the Stars –– Tourtuous.
The Salvation –– Saved by the bull.
Vanish –– Please!
The Hunting Ground –– Grope sex.
My Life Directed By Nicolas Winding Refn –– Directile dysfunction.
Out of the Dark –– Leaves audiences in.
Bluebird –– Of unhappiness.
Deli Man –– Doesn’t cut the mustard.
Zombieworld –– Dead giveaway.
Ana Maria in Novela Land –– Novela gazing.
After the Ball –– Ball of wacks.
Young Bodies Heal Quickly –– Personal injury hoot.
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 –– Stupor soaker.
The DUFF –– Get off it.
McFarland USA –– Crass country runners.
Queen and Country –– Service dog.
Wild Tales –– Report cards.
Gloria –– Dumpster diva.
Digging Up the Marrow –– Bone dry.
All the Wilderness –– Where the wild things err.
Treehouse –– Sappy.
Blackbird –– Emptiness syndrome.
Triumph in the Skies –– Cockpitiable.
A Convenient Truth –– Ozone diet.
A Killer Conversation –– Blather infection.
Anita Ho –– A sloppier ho.
Fifty Shades of Grey –– Semi-hard cheese.
Kingsman: The Secret Service –– The life of spy.
The Rewrite –– Draft dodger.
Girl House –– Sluttites.
Nailed ––You need like a hole in the head.
Dogs on the Inside –– Pen paws.
What We Do in the Shadows –– Dumb and umbra.
Gett: The Trial of Viviane Ansalem –– Gett outta here.
The Last Five Years –– I sat watching this.
Old Fashioned –– Courting disaster.
Da Sweet Blood of Jesus –– Ganja and hiss.
Wyrmwood –– The wyrm’s turn.
White Rabbit –– Feed your head. Garbage.
The Worst Year of My Life –– Par annum.
Because I Was a Painter –– Pan dauber.
Butterfly Girl –– Molt and mildew.
Seventh Son –– Seventh heavin’.
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
–– All dried up.
Jupiter Ascending –– Ass sending.
No Evidence of Disease –– Except cranial flatulence.
The Voices –– Ear kitty.
Listen –– Hunh?
Call for Help –– SOS bad.
Love, Rosie –– Rosie bomb.
1971 –– Zip files.
Ballet 422 –– Jete lag.
Lovesick –– Veni, VD, vici.
Enter the Dangerous Mind –– Brain of terror.
Pass the Light –– Belief blower.
Boy Meets Girl –– Trannie sez.
On the Way to School –– Route vegetable.
One Small Hitch –– Wed dreams.
3 Nights in the Desert –– Sand duller.
French Affairs –– Lamer toujours.
Black or White –– Race to the bottom.
The Loft –– The little dog Loft.
Project Almanac –– Project dumb way.
Wild Card –– What the deuce?
Timbuktu –– Mali-ficent.
Back Street Boys: Show ‘Em What You’re Made of –– Styrofoam.
Girlhood –– Gang bangers.
Suburban Gothic –– ‘Burb buried suits.
Alien Outpost –– Or Outhouse?
Guten Tag, Ramón –– D’oh D’oh Ramón.
Amira & Sam –– Amira crack’d.
Supremacy –– Rule out.
Coming Home –– Zhang high?
Hard to Be a God –– Louse of worship.
Above and Beyond –– Min overboard.
Legends From the Sky –– Naive American.
Plato’s Reality Machine –– Did not produce this.
Mortdecai –– Mortdefai.
The Boy Next Door –– Neighborhood botch.
Black Sea –– Sub zero.
Strange Magic –– Faily tales.
The Humbling –– Humiliating.
Cake –– Punt Cake.
Son of a Gun –– Small bore.
Mommy –– Teat and sympathy.
Veronika Decides to Die –– I second that emotion.
Killers –– Share gore values.
Manny –– Petty.
Song One –– Audience 0.
Red Army –– Rinks off the hook.
The Duke of Burgundy –– Ron’s cousin.
We’ll Never Have Paris –– Need I say amour?
Against the Sun –– Drift raft.
Salvation Army –– Rear infantry.
Americons –– Amusement Right.
Lost Legion –– A Roma of failure.
Paddington –– Poo bear.
Blackhat –– Hacks of violence.
The Wedding Ringer –– Dead Ringer.
Little Accidents –– On the carpet.
Match –– Barre brawl.
Vice –– Wicked bad.
Still Life –– Just sits there.
Human Capital –– Punishment.
Spare Parts –– Robot’s rules of order.
Loitering With Intent –– That’s the ticket.
I –– Yi yi.
Appropriate Behavior –– For nursery school.
The Phoenix Project –– Burnt out.
Three Night Stand –– Triple threat.
Pretty Rosebud –– Snippy.

Taken 3 –– Particular set of kills.
Predestination –– Free VOD.
Let’s Kill Ward’s Wife –– With Ward cleaver.
Beloved Sisters –– Myth of sissy fuss.
Valley of Saints –– Vale of tears.
The World Made Straight –– By Marcus Bachmann.
Preservation –– In moth balls.
Something, Anything –– Nothing.
It’s All So Quiet –– In this theater.
Black November –– Oily riser.
Farewell, Herr Schwarz –– Herr-brained.
Black Coffee –– Needs sweetening.
Druid Peak –– Wolf haul.
Diving Normal –– Woosy.
[REC] 4: Apocalypse –– Final record.
The Taking of Tiger Mountain –– JK prowling.

Cinema
Cinema 2016
Cinema 2015
Cinema 2014
Cinema 2013
Cinema 2012
Cinema 2011
CInema 2010
Cinema 2009
Cinema 2008
Cinema 2007
Cinema 2006
Cinema 2005
Television
Theatre
Music
Literature

E. Basil St. Blaise